Monthly Archives: March 2010

NESN’s First Reality Sitcom?

Unfortunately for fans of hard drinking backup first basemen/outfielders, Kevin Millar was cut by the Cubs yesterdat in his attempt to continue his career into a thirteenth season. Though it is sad for Millar, and all of the Chicago college girls who he was going to “pleasure,” It brings up a new opportunity for those of us who love an miss Millar in Boston (just not in the lineup).

For one he could do as I’ve always hoped and join NESN as a sideline reporter and analyst. He is the natural successor to Remy and would be hilarious on the set with Jim Rice’s suits and Dennis Eckersley’s hair constantly reminding him that they are in the hall of fame and he’s not. They could also send him out on the road to do live check ins with fans in the bars as he gets drunk and see how many innings it takes until he gets incoherent, throws up on air or pulls a Joe Namath with some random college chick he’s interviewing. Eventually, when Remy decides to leave the booth, he and his bottle of Jack Daniel’s would be the guy to step in along with Donny O.

Imagine him picking up strange, on TV....... Hilarity Ensues.

He could also try to extend his “career” which to everyone else peaked when he was one of the 25 guys on the roster when we won in 2004. Texas may have some interest, as it seems less and less likely that they will take Lowell off Theo’s hands without the Sox picking up the entire $12 million tab, even though he has been hitting on all cylinders lately. Millar would fit the bill of a back p first baseman/DH who could hit for some power off the bench and serve as insurance for when Vlad Guerrero inevitably goes down.  It’s a shot to extend his playing days, which is what he really wants to do and also kinda screws the Sox at the same time.

The best option is to redefine reality TV by giving Millar his own show. It wold basically be a reality version of Cheers, but the bar would be in the Sox clubhouse, and the part of Diane would be played by DeMarlo Hale. Every night, when the game ends, the guys would come back to their lockers to find Millar set up behind he bar, serving drinks and spitting old timey bartender wisdom. The players would be able to come to Millar to talk about their issues, work through a rough day on the field, or just to see what Northeastern girl he was trying to give his special brand of love to that night.

No matter what happens, Kevin Millar will always hold a special place in the hearts of all Red Sox fans, and he likely won’t be able to buy himself a drink in the city of Boston. If you’ve got any ideas of your own, feel free to share them in the comments section.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Will Tonight Be A $66 Million Start for Beckett?

I can only assume that any future contract would prohibit this.

Amidst all of the speculation that comes with spring, I have found myself most fascinated with an issue from the upcoming Hot Stove season, seven months from now. Josh Beckett is, when he’s on, one of the best pitchers in the majors. He pairs a high 90’s fastball (Schilling once pointed out that the New York Post was idiotic to suggest that Randy Johnson throw at Ortiz, because the Sox had Beckett on the mound and he throws 98 too, but without the mullet) with a 12-6 curve that makes most hitters look like they are tee-ball players flailing at their first real pitches. That’s when he’s on, keeping the ball down in the zone and staying healthy, but when he’s not, look out. The ball stays up in the zone and he can get hammered (look at the 2008 and 2009 post seasons for evidence).

This is fun. Or, I may poop.

That is why his contract status for next year has me so captivated. The four year, $42 million contract that he signed in the summer of 2006 is going to run out at the end of this season, and decisions have to be made. The Sox just threw $82.5 mil over five years at John Lackey, whose career numbers are pretty damn close to Beckett’s, and former teammate AJ “I always look like I smell poop” Burnett got the same deal from the Yanks a year ago. The balking point is that the Sox are still worried about the fraying in Beckett’s rotator cuff that the Marlins saw when he was in the minors, and likely don’t want to offer him more that four years. There will definitely be some medical language in the contract, like those of Lackey, J.D. Drew and others, but the issue will be the years.

Nobody outside the room (AKA us) has any real knowledge of the negotiations, but reports are that they have been amicable and that both sides want something to get done. Though there has been no deadline set for the deal, as in the negotiations over keeping Victor Martinez in town, the team wants to get something done, sooner rather than later, and tonight might be the night for just such an announcement. If the team can avoid that fifth year, we are looking at something around $66 million (holy god, that’s exactly what Jason Bay got…. Hmmmmmm) for the four years.

Either way, Beckett takes the hill tonight for the last tuneup before Sunday night, and will probably go pretty deep. It’s getting close.

Go Sox.

Done.

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One Last Week…… The Red Sox Play Seven Nights From Now.

The last week of the interminably long offseason is finally here, and the Sox are getting the last few issues nailed down. The club leaves to make the trip home (Via D.C.) on Friday and between now and then Becket, Lester, Lackey and Wake will get their final tuneups before taking the ball for real. That leaves just a few small details to be taken care of.

Lackey, the Texan bulldog signed this offseason to take the third spot in Tito’s hand of aces, has agreed to do just that, pitch third, at least until he proves himself in the AL East. Some people were worried that he would be against the whole idea, based on the fact that he has a ring and a 3.12 postseason ERA, along with having been the ace of a perennial contender for years. Those fears were unfounded, as it seems that he had no problem being the third guy for day one. Another victory for not being a douche.

There are still questions as far as who will fill the last spot on the bench (Tug Hulett may have earned himself that spot with a three-run bomb today) and the second lefty spot in the bullpen. Alan Embree, Scott Schoenweis and Joe Nelson have all been run through the grinder, and there isn’t truly any indication as to who will be the 12th pitcher to make his way north with the big club (not stopping in Pawtucket).

One more week until the madness begins (and I still can’t find a ticket to the game for less than $100, so if you have any clues they would be welcome). One more week of sleep, TV and spending less than 12 hours per day checking Extra Bases. I’m ready.

One last thing; Tool Academy, in it’s infinite wisdom, has delivered further proof that Yankees fans are douchebags (fast forward to the 2:40 point).

Go Sox.

Done.

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Matsuzaka Pitches Two Innings, Suffers No New Injuries……..Yet.

This is a real picture of Daisuke Mastuzaka pitching to Major League Hitters.

I swear to Vishnu that there was a ghost on the mound at City of Palms park yesterday. It looked like Daisuke Matsuzaka, but I was pretty sure he died last spring when he refused to admit that he had suffered a severed head and collapsed five innings and 7000 pitches after suffering the injury. Either way, the 18 game winner from 2008 has not been seen since and whatever that was on the mound yesterday was not the guy that the Red Sox paid $102 million for after the 2006 season. Was it?

Daisuke made his spring debut yesterday, three weeks late, and threw two innings, giving up a run on two hits. He did not tell the team (as far as we know) about any further maladies beyond the neck and back which have kept him off the mound this season. This is becoming a running joke about Matsuzaka, who never panned out to be the wonder that he was supposed to when he came over, but not a good one. The Sox should have the deepest and best rotation in baseball this season, but with the questions about Dice, there is less certainty that the sixth man will be there when the team inevitably needs him due to injuries or ineffectiveness in the other five starters.

God Bless the Knuckler.

Fortunately, the Sox have Tim Wakefield pitching well to back up the three aces of Beckett, Lester and Lackey. Timmay, who turns 78 years old this year, has actually been the Sox’ most consistent pitcher this spring, leading the club in innings. They also have three days off in the first two weeks of the season (goddammit) and can go without a fifth starter until April 18. Then there is Buchholz, who made huge strides last season but hasn’t been great this spring and is a wild card in this whole situation.

Can we say that I am worried? Yeah, I’d go there, but I really have no clue what it will look like once they line up for real on Easter Sunday and play some real, meaningful baseball. There are too many questions at this point, even with Dice-K being the least of them. How is Pedroia’s wrist? Will David Ortiz spend the first two months of the season rotting next to the plate? Will the new guys hit? When does Adrian Gonzalez get here?

What I do know is that Beckett, Lester and Lackey will be there and all of them are horses. Beckett will start on the 4th and Pedroia will be in the lineup. Theo, Tito, and the brain trust at 4 Yawkey way will make something happen, as they always do, and when October rolls around I’ll be missing sleep and messing up at my job because Bud Selig Starts ballgames at the latest possible hour so that children can’t watch. That’s right. Bud Selig hates children.

At least it’s not snowing…..(getting up to go look out the window)…… Shit!

Go Sox.

Done.

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Quick question regarding Cornell:

SMC

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