Monthly Archives: April 2010

Lester to Bard to Papelmoose; Order Restored to the Cosmos.

This is not during warmups. There is just nobody at SkyDome because the Jays are awful.

I must first admit to not watching the game last night, I was at an event of equal length, more death and less balls: The Opera.

But upon my midnight return to the hotel, I was graced by baseball tonight’s highlights. Lester for 7 innings of shutemdown baseball (11 k’s) then Bard K’s the side after giving up a double just to keep the game intrigue high, and then in came the Moose to shut things down.

Just another victim.

Lester’s ability to vary between a 95mph heater, and a 78mph curveball is just knee bucklingly awesome. My favorite toss of his, however, is his 87mph running cutter. And each of them worked last night. Lester has been generally poor in April over his career… and given this will prob be his last start this month, I’m looking forward to a very fulfilling May. Which will be nice because we forget that May is generally a shitty and rainy month… and Boston only smiles when the Sox are winning (or when we hear tourists complaining about us… it’s just the best).

Assuming Lowell and Ortiz don’t poison each other, Bucc keeps plowing away (heyo), Beckett gets his shit together and Lackey keeps it on the straight & narrow… we’re in for a 19+ win May.

SMC

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Clay Buchholz Saves Red Sox Tired Bullpen, Has Really Hot Wife.

The Sox may not have truly put it together, but the offense showed just enough, and a more than quality start from one of the starters helped big time. After using their whole bullpen the night before, Clay gave the Sox exactly what they needed, going eight, giving up a lone run and saving the staff for tonight. Meanwhile the offense, who still refuses to show up on the same night as the pitching staff, did just enough to win, as pinch hitter Mike Lowell walked with the bases loaded to take the lead.

Sox go for the sweep tonight at 7:08 (crazy canadians) behind Lester, who finally looked like him self last time out.

And (I can’t believe I’m actually writing this) Go Canadiens. The B’s want home ice.

Go Sox.

Done.

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When Do I Ask The Red Sox To Just Kick Me In The Junk And Save Us All The Time?

You don't know when to quit, do ya Griswold?... Here's an idea: Why don't you give me half the money your were gonna to bet, then we'll go out back, I'll kick you in the nuts, and we'll call it a day!

This season is starting to remind me of Clark Griswold’s experiences at the blackjack table in Vegas Vacation (the most underrated of the Lampoon movies). Every time I think there is a glimmer of hope, out come the old (pre-2004) Red Sox to knock me back to Earth. Each of the starting pitchers have had great outings, but then come back the next time out and sucked worse than Caddyshack 2. The bullpen has been at turns amazing and incredibly sorry, with Delcarmen (holy crap) actually emerging as one of the most reliable options out there (Bard is still giving up too many gopher balls), and Alan Embree being seriously considered for a return engagement.

We suck sooooo bad.

The offense, including last night’s 13 run outburst, has been as perplexing and fallible as people said it would be but in a different way. It seems that our pitchers need to suck in order to convince the offense to show up. Beckett gives up eight in three plus innings? Awesome, lets slam some douche all over the ballpark. Buchholz goes seven strong, not giving up any runs until his last inning of work? Nah, we’re not giving him anything. Can’t score in the bottom of the ninth in a tie game, but once the bullpen gives up three (I’m a big Tito guy, but that loss is on him for calling on Atchison instead of Delcarmen), we’ll push a couple across.

Yeahhh... You might as well put those goggles on eBay at this rate.

At this point, I’m kind of dreading the rest of the season. Don’t get me wrong, I’m gonna watch and live and die with this club just like I always have, but for the first time in a while I have truly no clue (I will not be spraying clue goo all over SMC) how it’s all going to turn out. This is a club that could come together and win the next 12 in a row without surprising anyone, but also lose the same dozen without most people batting an eye. Last night’s 25 run slugfest is case in point.

At this point, the team is in flux in more ways than one. Jacoby has been absent for what seems like years now, robbing the lineup of a guy who turns singles into doubles, etc. Wake is heading to the bullpen and pissed about it, while this random Japanese guy who SMC has a crush on tries to prove that he’s not entirely useless. There is no power in the lineup, Victor and J.D. both suck, and Darnell Effing McDonald is legitimately the hottest hitter on the club.

I feel an ulcer coming on.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Blprk Txts: It’s One Way or the Other.

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Day After Patriots’ Draft Picks Begin Arriving in Foxboro, Bill Puts Adalius’ Head on Fencepost Next to Weight Room.

The news out of Foxboro this morning is that outside linebacker Adalius Thomas has been cut from the Patriots. This opens a roster spot for one of the 12 drafted rookies (plus any additional undrafted rookie free agents, of which the Patriots are currently signing 6, 7 or 8 depending on who’s reporting.)

Adalius Thomas, on top, has a bit of a thing for bare midriffs, he explains to former asshole Jet, Brett Favre.

The Thomas move should come as a surprise to absolutely no one. Thomas signed a big huge 5 year deal in 2007 after Ray Lewis had inflated his stats for the 2 previous seasons. The word is Adalius just didn’t get and so an example was made of him. Personally, I’m wondering why we didn’t package him into a deal on draft day and get an additional 2nd rounder or multiple middle round picks… C’est La Vie.

Also, in the “It’s Never Too Early” category… The Patriots have two 1st Round picks and Two 2nd Round picks in 2011.

More to come on this years Patriot’s draftees and UDFAs as I sift through their police reports.

SMC

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It Was a Nice Night For a Long Drive With Your Papi.

One down.......

It may have been ugly, but it was a win, and a step in the right direction.

Case in point: David Ortiz hit his first home run of the season last night (still waiting on Cameron and Beltre), and it may be the start of something. Last season, from the point when he hit his first homer (May 21), Ortiz hit 28 homers and had 83 RBI or so. This year, he has gotten a months jump start on that and if his numbers follow the path that they did last year, he’s on track for a monster season, especially if he only hits against righties. Ortiz won’t be a guy who can dominate pitching and give us 50 homers and 135 RBI again, but as a role player hitting out of the fifth or sixth spot, he can solidify this lineup. At the very least, it’s a start.

And thank God for the Baltimore Orioles and their 18 games against the Sox this season. Nothing gets a team going like a nice weekend swing against a truly miserable team. They do it again tonight at 7:10, and Lackey’s on the hill.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Fifa 2010 PS3 Players: I Have Found The Ultimate Player Card.

FIFA, You can't sneak one by SMC.

SMC

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