Adrian Beltre Explains The Taste That Matt Garza Can’t Get Out Of His Mouth.

Garza Has a Bad Taste In His Mouth.

A guy walks into a bar in Tampa. He walks up to the bar and orders six shots of Tequila. As soon as they are poured, he starts slamming them down so the bartender says to him, “What’s the occasion?”

The guy looks up between shots and says, “My first blow job.” He doesn’t look happy.

“Congratulations, let me buy you another one,” The bartender replies, smiling.

“No thanks, if six shots doesn’t get rid of the taste, nothing will.”

“Hey, aren’t you Matt Garza?”

And that is where the nasty taste in his mouth came from.

Adrian Beltre was 4-5 with Two home runs, one of which was a three run shot that he hit from his knees, and four RBI (not to mention his two run triple in the ninth) and the Sox finally got the Garza monkey of their backs. In his career Garza was 6-2, 2.92 before last night, including Game 7 of the 2008 ALCS and repeated ass whoopings the last two seasons, over which he has has a 2.3 ERA against the Sox. I really hate this guy and seeing the Sox jump all over him like a lonely frat guy on an oiled up watermelon was definitely one of those unique pleasures that only comes from sports. Beltre showing him Garza how his dick tastes was just awesome and Ortiz’ two run homer (ninth of the month) was just a great way to cap it off as the Sox put up six on Garza and had him out of the game after the fifth.

Lackey didn’t have his best stuff once again, but he did enough, getting through 6-1/3 laborious innings while giving up only two runs. He was walking the tight rope all night where the Rays could have put up some big innings with a timely hit or two, but going 1-13 with men in scoring position won’t help you score runs. The Rays are human and are not going to win 118 games.

Now that the Sox have avenged the ass kicking they took at home back in April by walking into the house of the best team in abseball (records wise) slapping them in the face with their dick and then walking out with all of their beer, money and girls, is anyone else excited for the next four series against the Royals, A’s, O’s and Indians?

Thought so.

Go Sox.

Done.

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3 Comments

Filed under Baseball

3 responses to “Adrian Beltre Explains The Taste That Matt Garza Can’t Get Out Of His Mouth.

  1. Mcgreevey

    You do realize that the sox are now going to be lucky to get a split against the Goddamn Royals? Stop effing jinxing us. The Celtics are going to bruin the week, love it SMC, and the Sox should just start the biggest firesale in history. Done, I hope you can’t sleep because you have a super itchy asshole tonight.

  2. ….when i grow up i wanna be just like SMC…
    ….also on a totally unrelated note…what’s with this site and all the jinxes?

  3. jack the dripper

    Garza,s shit beard looks like a fucking toilet brush

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