Tag Archives: Brad Penny

Say Good Bye to Brad Penny, Hello to The Jimmy Fund.

Jason Loves the Jimmy Fund, Don't You?

Jason Loves the Jimmy Fund, Don't You?

One night after SMC’s incredible catch (which is awesome but still makes me hate him, mostly for the 20 years of baseball games and zero foul balls I have to show for it), we are headed back to Fenway in both an attempt to catch another and in support of our favorite charity. Today is the first of two days of the WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund radio telethon, and I want to encourage all of you out there to give whatever you can. I know that times are tough, but I’m pretty sure you all have 20 bucks to give to kids with cancer. It’s an awesome cause and should be a great night at the park with the Sox aiming for the sweep of the White Sox and alot of great people raising money to help heroic doctors and patients beat the shit out of cancer.

I'll only miss the one on the right.

I'll only miss the one on the right.

On a sadder note, Theo took another loss while the Sox won last night. For the second time this season, one of his Patriots style reclamation projects was thrown on the trash heap as Brad Penny, and his hot Ex Girlfriends were put on release waivers. It was fun at the start, but in the end Penny only won one of his last eleven decisions and looked like a pussy in doing it. Which is to say that I’m happy to see him go. Of course, this is for a happy reason because TImmmayyyy is back up to his old tricks for the Sox and the holes in the rotation are getting shallower by the day. Imagine bringing vintage 2008 Wiggler back in mid September, that’s like trading for a guy who will give you six quality innings every time out, just in time to catch the yanks and make another generation of Steinbrenner douches cry.

Off to the park, hope to see you there, and even if you cant make it please give to the Jimmy Fund this week.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Craptastic.

That sucked worse than getting your balls stepped on by a large dog. I don’t really have much to say except for that I’m happy we were able to at least score some so that the beating wasn’t as bad and we proved that we can score more than two runs against their pitching, which looked awful as well. If you didn’t see Brad Penny making like a BP pitcher last night after his previous starts you definitely haven’t been watching. It’s too bad we didn’t trade him when he had some value, and let Bowden take the start (I know he got slammed around too, but if he had been able to warm up like the starter he has been in Pawtucket he probably would have been fine). Add that to the fact that Wake went 5-2/3 giving up one run on two hits, and Penny will be enjoying his trip down the waiver wire soon. 

Fortunately it’s a quick turnaround before Junichi faces the Pinstriped Assholes in about 10 minutes. Pray for us. 

Go Sox. 

Done.

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Brad Penny Might have Puked, But He Still Likes the Home Cookin’ at Fenway.

Jacoby's excited.

Jacoby's excited.

You can win a World Series with Nick Green at Shortstop, especially when he hits the ball this hard.

You can win a World Series with Nick Green at shortstop, especially when he hits the ball this far.

Take your head out of the oven, slowly lift your toe off the trigger and look around. Did the world come to an end? Are you going to let them win now? Sure, the Sox lost their last six to the heart of their divisional rivals, but  last night they came back and stuck it to another division leader while the Yanks lost one to those pesky Blue Jays (the Sea Shepherds of the AL East).

While the entire region was on suicide watch yesterday, today things are looking decidedly up. The Sox banged out 12 hits (roughly half as many as they had in the entire Yanks series), scored six times, and got a quality start out of Brad Penny (who threw up before the sixth due to bad clams/acid reflux). They scored early, on Pedroia’s first inning two run homer, and late on Nick Green’s seventh inning sac fly. They got productive outs, every member of the starting lineup, other than Victor who hit the ball hard three times, had at least one hit, and Jacoby crept closer to Tommy Harper’s club record 54 stolen bases (Ells has 51).

He Really did Puke before the Sixth, but I think it was from eating too much Awesomeness.

He Really did Puke before the Sixth, but I think it was from eating too much Awesomeness.

The key thing that nobody has seemed to notice with the debacle that was the past week at the plate is the starting pitching. Everybody was talking about how they were so worried about the starting pitching past Lester and Beckett, but then Buchholz put up a quality start (2 R over 6 IP) against Fat Ass on Saturday afternoon (which was ignored because of the fact that the Sox couldn’t score, but apparently someone took Lou’s advice and told him to relax), and Penny looked good last night against another first place team (even if being in first place in the AL Central is like being the smartest guy in the LA Clippers’ front office). The pitching, as bad as it looked last week, is only getting better. Plus, Daisuke and Wake are on the mend, and Junichi (who I want to put his first name on his jersey ala Ichiro) is going to take the ball for the first time as a starter tonight. Good things are coming.

Let’s all back away from the edge, take a deep breath and remember that the Sox still have six games in hand against the Yanks, and an 8-4 lead in the season series. The Yanks won’t win them all and each win for the Sox is a step closer to the playoffs.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Recipe for Disaster: Brad Penny Vs Rays.

ShitI really can’t watch. Brad Penny, who usually only goes six innings, is facing the Rays tonight, a team that the Sox just can’t seem to beat. The Sox have no bullpen because they all had to pitch last night. I’m really legitimately afraid. Sure, Tito made a great decision to have Papi out of the lineup agaist the lefty (Lowell is DH), which means that we have one lefty and eight righties facing the rook, but nothing is going to get done. This is going to be one of those nights where I cozy up with a six pack of Narragansett and hold on for dear life, swearing at the screen and declaring how the Sox are going to lose all six games on this trip and miss the playoffs. Optimism will be welcomed in the comments section.

Shit.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Note To Theo and the Red Sox: One Game is Too Much, Now You Can Blow It Up.

explosion-fingerIn the words of my dear Sister, OH MY GOD! What are we going to do? We have only 69 games left (I admit I made a mistake yesterday when I forgot those last two games, please feel free to crucify me for it in the comments section) to recover from this awful four game losing streak and a one game deficit in the division. Holy Crap.

I don’t know what we should do first, trade the Portland Sea Dogs (and the city of Portland, with an offer of all of Maine just in case) for Roy Halladay, or ship off Brad Penny to wherever we can get a hitter from, or have John Smoltz euthanized.

The pink areas now belong to the Toronto Blue Jays

The pink areas now belong to the Toronto Blue Jays

And now Wakefield is on the DL, so we’re really screwed. I think I’m actually going to just move to Tajikistan (real place) so that I don’t have to worry about thet huge one game lead that the Yanks have with only 69 games to go. Has any team ever come that far back this late in the season?

And for all of you that aren’t freaking out right now, think about this. Josh Beckett lost last night. He can’t ever lose again if we are going to win the division. The Yanks are even winning with Sergio Mitre on the mound, and he wasn’t good enough for the Marlins.

Not Good....... Again

Not Good....... Again

Don’t even get me started on the bats. The Sox are clearly not just going through a road slump like they did at the start of the season. they haven’t scored more than four runs since the break and can’t get a big hit. David Ortiz is never going to hit another home run, and Kevin Youkilis might as well just shave his beard because it’s power seems to have waned. Pedroia is too small and somebody needs to turn the emotions chip in J.D. Drew’s body back on.

Plus, I think Tito’s gone senile with his new pomegranate green tea commercials. Fruit is for hippies.

You know what we need? Rodimus Prime.

(Reverse Cheer Complete)

Go Sox.

Done.

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Settle Down Children, The World is Not Coming to an End.

Don't Press the Button Yet.

Don't Press the Button Yet.

Sure, the Yanks have swept their last four while the Sox have lost three in a row. Sure, the division is now tied. But this is not the end of the world.

Look at the calendar. Today is July 21, and there are 68 games remaining in the season. The Red Sox do not need to get rid of Peny, Smoltz or anyone else. The whole of Red Sox Nation is looking at a snapshot of the season, where as Theo and the boys in his office are looking at the timeline.

Did you really expect him to be the Smoltz of old after five starts?

Did you really expect him to be the Smoltz of old after five starts?

So let’s all settle down, relax, and realize that the standings on July 21 don’t matter on October 5th. We don’t need to overreact to a bad outing by Penny or Smoltz by blowing up a long standing development plan and bankrupting the minors to land Halladay (unless it looks like the Yanks are going to). We don’t need to throw Buchholz into the mix with the huge expectations on his shoulders that he collapsed under last season. We don’t need to go out and get a bat because a couple of guys have had a bad week.

Everything will be O.K. Beckett is going tonight. The team is coming home on Friday. And the Yankees have been playing over their heads for the last few weeks. Plus, even if the season did end today, we have the tie breaker (in case you forgot, the Sox are 8-0 vs. the Pinstriped Assholes).

Go Sox.

Done.

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Brad Penny Has Tested Positive for Being a Tank.

I remember the lost summer of 2005, when we were all still basking in the glow of THE GREATEST COMEBACK IN SPORTS HISTORY, Rentawreck was our shortstop and Curt Schilling was more politician than player (not like now, when he is more like me than a player). It was SMC’s birthday and a bunch of over dressed douchebags (me amongst them, but not over dressed) wandered into Cigar Masters for Cubans (we brought them) and champagne, looked up at the TV above the bar and cringed. We happened to walk into the bar just as Matt Clement (remember him, tall, goofy guy with awful facial hair) took a line drive off the dome, dropping him to the ground and knocking him out of the rotation for a good month.

Brad Penny: Sheriff Dusty Pete's DeputyWell, Brad Penny is not Matt Clement. Granted, this shot didnt hit him in the head, but taking a jeremy Hermida Line Drive to the chest in the first inning of what became his 100th career victory last night didn’t even seem to make him blink. He even defelected the ball to Youk for the out.  Meanwhile, he threw a Wiggler-esque 100 pitches in five innings of work, surrendering only one earned run in the first on Ellsbury’s first career error (but Ells walked twice and hit a bomb to make up for it).

Penny has been great this season and has often (like in last week’s domination of the Pinnstriped Assholes) shown glimpses of the guy who was a staff ace in LA for two years and won 16 games twice. He is 6-2 in 13 starts and with 20 more starts could definitely win 15 games, which is great for a fifth starter. He also, as we saw last night, is impenetrable to small rocket attacks (Have I mentioned that the tank is a tank?) and a great guy to have in the clubhouse. He can stay.

It is really becoming more and more unfortunate that Matsuzaka is the guy that we can’t trade. He’s young, signed for another three and a half years, can be very effective (see last years stats) and if he were in a more pitching friendly ballpark, or the National League, would be able to get deeper into games. Best of all, his trade value is high to a contending NL team (which is about half the teams out there) and the Sox might be able to package Lugo into the deal to dump him (ala Lowell in the Beckett trade, but without a chance for him to get really good, like Lowell). Of course, he has a no trade clause and with the way Tito sticks with his guys (he did help us win a ring in ’07) the six man rotation will have to work until he accepts an “injury” and takes a DL stint until he is needed. It actually might help him, as they could allow him to throw more pitches and the Sox would be on a similar schedule to the one used in Japan (six man rotation with a god awful league wide off day every Monday).

Our boys go for the sweep of the Marlins tonight in their 501st consecutive sellout. My favorite fact about that is the amount of guys that have never seen an empty seat in Fenway: Tito, Youk, Dusty Pete, Paps, The Wiggler, Lugo, Lester, MDC , Oki, Lowrie, Bay, and all of the new guys. We are awesome, unfortunately tonight there wont be any free hot dogs, burritos, or Stanley Fat Max tape measures (that was a great picture of the tape measures rising from the crowd).

Go Sox.

Done.

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