Tag Archives: Dwight Freeney

Sex Addicts Anonymous: Super Bowl Champs Edition

Steve Phillips: In the Strange.

Second things first: I just turned on ESPN to see a clip of Baseball Analyst Steve Phillips explain that he just got out of the same Mississippi Sex Clinic as Tiger and tell us all about the first step, “that he is powerless over his disease and his life became unmanageable.” I mean… come on. Anyone who is familiar with last call and the end of a Johnny Walker bottle has found themselves powerless over their life. Does this make us all sex addicts? No. No it doesn’t. It means that when Steve Phillips makes it rain at C Folds he doesn’t just stop at the “Light Touching Mezzanine,” he goes straight to the Champagne room where all the rumors are true.

And another thing (Sports Center is still on…) Is Dana Jacobson the real Sasquatch? Seriously… she’s a monster. She could have played the tall one from Deuce Bigalow.

But I digest…

This is not a funny picture or caption.

Eff you Colts, Eff you Jim Caldwell, Eff you Peyton Manning and Eff you Indianapolis. Watching the Saints win the Super Bowl was just perfect. Though it was a soft year in commercials, I personally supplemented my normal commercial watching routine with an abnormal excess of eating and drinking.

To be completely honest with you the reader, (I’m watching you), I didn’t watch a ton of the game. I was immediately defeated by the 10-0 Colts burst to begin the game and may have had one to many comforting libations,  and with every second of tedium that ticked by while The Who played their old white guy medley, Freeney’s shredded Schilling ankle got tighter and tighter to the point that it was simply unusable in the second half. As the 3rd Q progressed, the Saints were simply more and more dominant.

Go Nuts, World. We are gonna party.

The most exciting moment of the game for me was Tracy Porter’s INT. He was just so clearly prepared for that play and might as well have been inside the heads (and bodies) of Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne. As Porter sprinted towards the endzone, 6 points in-hand, and pointed to the stands as the flash bulbs went crazy, this chemical reaction happened and everyone in my living room went crazy.

Warren Sapp, in fact, celebrated by posting bail on charges that he choked a hooker. True Story.

There were no more holdouts after that, from that moment forward, the entire country knew the right team was winning. There’s something inside all of us that wants to be a Saints fan. The combination of values and partying that the Saints stand for simply inspires us as fun loving Americans.

The image of Super Bowl Champion and MVP Drew Brees standing on the podium with his son raised above his head as the confetti and cheers rained down on both of them is the sports moment of eternity and New Orleans should be not only INCREDIBLY hung over, but very proud of their team. It wasn’t cheesy, it was awesome.

Go New Orleans and Go Drew Brees.

And Go Katfish.


The Best.



Filed under Artificial Turf, Things other than baseball

Artificial Turf: Colts Make Pats Eat Turf, Pride

Just a foot too short. Faulk must not have seen the yellow line.

The game wasn’t lost on the 4th and too short completion to Kevin Faulk as the clock ticked towards the two minute warning last night. Whether or not we broke our televisions shortly thereafter, from a coaching perspective, I stand behind the decision to go for it on that down & scenario and if you didn’t, you’re too thin skinned for the NFL.

The Colts were going to score from wherever on the field they got their last possession, so it was imperative to either keep the ball through the end of the game or work it down for a field goal to make it a 9 point game. We have Tom Brady and they have Peyton Manning. The decision was, keep the game in Tom’s hands, don’t put it in Manning’s. And Tom Brady, with the game on the line, in a must-have 2 yard situation with 5 WRs… I like our odds. The problem with odds… are the long shots. Freaking Faulk who played great up to that point didn’t run far enough, Brady rushed the throw, the press coverage was perfect and we turned the ball over on a non-reviewable play because we were out of time outs, we got a questionable spot and there was just nothing we could do.

Well shit.

And would someone please shadow the coverage on Reggie Wayne!?!? Man I hate Wilhite today.

I would rather be dancing now than then.

If you want to hear about any upside… like Moss’s 179 yard/ 2TD performance, Edelman’s return to the lineup with a score, Welker’s 9 catch / 94 yard day or how rookie tackle Sebastien Vollmer made Dwight Freeney his bitch and held him to straight zeros on the stat sheet, you’re gonna have to wait till later in the week. I would also like to address the fact that Moss, Green-Ellis and Wes Welker have all gone full-pirate. Seriously, look at Moss’s beard, Green-Ellis’s leather scullrag… personally, I think Edelman needs to join in on it. But I’m gonna wait till I’m less pissed at everybody to talk about something funny.

But we're not dancing. We're dejected losers.

The fact is, we won the game, and then effectively made the statement: we aren’t ready for this win. The Colts were. It just kept feeling… even in the first half, alla 2006, like tha game wasn’t over. They were a better team last night. A F you, NBC for when you gave the magazine cover montage of Brady and Manning you used a bunch of gay magazine covers for Brady and a bunch of sports illustrated covers for Manning. (And I mean ‘gay’ like Details Magazine photo spread with your shirt off, not like homosexual). Just so we’re clear, Brady has been on 9 Sports Illustrated Covers. So go Screw, NBC… tryin to make my boy look like a Mary and Peyton The Thumb Manning look like a football star…

The only thing that will make this feel better is pounding the Jets into the ground next weekend. And then by beating the Saints. If we don’t do those two very important things, we risk this game being the defining moment of the season.

Well shit.


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Filed under Artificial Turf