Tag Archives: Hot Stove

Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez and the Red Sox: How Do YOU Spell Juggernaut?

With Crawford and Gonzalez in the mix, this should be a common sight around here soon.

Theo Epstein has given me a reason to write again.

Actually, he has given me two of them.

With today’s announcement that the Red Sox signed Carl Crawford, and last week’s trade for my long time man-crush, Adrian Gonzalez, the Sox are back. They have shifted the balance of power, stolen the thunder from a 10-2 Patriots team (by the way Rex Ryan, did you know that fist can be a verb?) and banished the championship contending Celtics and Bruins to the second page of the sports section. Once again this is a baseball town and the general malaise that had settled in at the end of last season is officially so gone that I have completely forgotten that anything between Papelbon entering in the ninth inning of game three of the ALDS in 2009 and when I woke up to the joyous news Saturday morning.

Now I know what all of you Christians have been saying about Christmas morning, but this was better.

Gone are the injuries, the worries, and watching Eric Patterson and Danny Nava playing in big games for the Sox. Gone is the f@#$%ing bridge year, and gone is the small market mindset. The Red Sox have flexed their muscles and now the rest of the league has to be afraid.

The best part of today was that I gave my students a pop quiz so that I could read all of the coverage, watch the video of Cashman shaking his head and imagining the price tag on Cliff Lee, who the Yankees absolutely must get, and above all, play with the lineup. Just picturing a lineup with a healthy Youk and Pedey, Ellsbury (I still think he’s the king of the Pink Hats) and Crawford terrorizing the basepaths, and Gonzalez chipping paint off the monster on a daily basis is making me smile and count the days to Pitchers and Catchers (66). After many hours of work (while I was supposed to be educating children), I have come to the following lineup:

Ellsbury (LF),

Pedroia (2B),

Crawford (LF),

Gonzo the Great (1B),

The Beard (3B),

Papi (DH),

Drew (only one more year, RF),

‘Tek/Salty (C),

Scoots (SS).

This way there are three on base guys in front of Gonzo and Youk, allowing them to drive guys in, and it keeps a semblance of the right-left pattern that Tito likes to keep in order to prevent other teams from using a specialist on the heart of the order. It is worth mentioning that both Gonzo and Craw (I’m auditioning nicknames, feel free to contribute) hit lefties very well and that Gonzo absolutely crushes everything, including the souls of people named Steinbrenner. There is also potential for Salty to continue to develop and move up in front of Drew in the order, furthering Tito’s right-left desires (both of the catchers are switch hitters).

Oh, and have I mentioned that the three and four pitchers in our rotation are as good, if not better than most other team’s one and two? Yeah, Beckett is looking like he is going to come out pissed off at all the people who said that he shouldn’t have gotten the extension last year and Lackey will be the same way at us (and I say us, because I am one of these people) and come out firing.

The bullpen is the only question left (other than who bats where in the lineup and how many games we win the east by), headed by the nutcase who is in his final year with the Sox and must show up big for the big contract that he wants. Bard is solid and getting better (look at what he did to lefties last season, and that’s as a righthander), and the rest of the pieces…. well…… I trust in Theo.

He’s gotten us this far.

66 Days.

Go Sox.




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Sox Continue Bay Games

Just pay the man. He's got a family to feed.

The Red Sox continue to jockey for position with the LAAAAAngels  and Mariners for the services of one Jason Bay. As a Sox fan with more than above average interest, I can say I have no interest in Matt Holliday. Bay walked on 60mil over 4 and wants 90mil over 5. Can’t we just throw down 75mil over 4? Or freaking pay the guy… who cares? It’s only money, and it isn’t even mine.

And the winter meetings continue…


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Red Sox News!………… Not Really, But At Least It’s Something.

With the free agent season in its infancy and the Winter Meetings (also known as the world’s biggest bullshit session) still two weeks away (Dec 7-10, in Indy, a place which doesn’t even have a Major League team, please explain that to me), the media is struggling to find things that might pass for news in the November doldrums of the not-yet-Hot-Stove season.

We need some of this.

Some of the so called pieces of news are that the Sox are trying to trade for Adrian Gonzalez (not going to happen unless Theo still has those pictures of Hoyer making out with a transvestite, plus, who isn’t trying to get Gonzalez), shopping Mike Lowell, and thinking about actually paying Jason Bay enough so that we don’t get Teixeira’d by our owners once again. Other options might be Adrian Beltre, Matt Holliday (who proved this year in Oakland that he’s not an AL guy, even though it was Oakland and nobody, not even Holliday, remembers who was hitting behind him), and the Robotic power hitter that Sony is building for the Sox to apologize for their Matsuzaka-bot falling apart last season.

We're hoping this tip-of-the-hat isn't a goodbye.

We're hoping this tip-of-the-cap isn't a goodbye.

There will likely be no real news on anything until at least the end of next week, unless Bay decides to have Thanksgiving Dinner Schilling style with Theo (remember, he’s an Amuurrrrican now), and the Sox give him the fifth year and the FU million over J.D. Drew.

Amidst all of the rampant speculation (the Sox are shopping everyone except Pedroia, Youkilis, and Lester, just to see what is available), there was one bit of news out of Red Sox camp, and it has nothing to do with a certain Cuban lefty. After the departure of good friend (and non threat) Brad Mills to manage the Astros (are they going to change their name now that they haven’t been in the Astrodome for almost a decade?), DeMarlo Hale has been promoted to Bench Coach, Tim Bogar is moving from first to third, and Ron Johnson, the PawSox manager for the last five years will take over as first base coach. The upswing of this is that we will have a new guy to complain about when one of our guys gets thrown out trying to score, and DeMarlo will be making the calls when Tito gets tossed. I know, it’s really nothing, but it’s better than college sports.

Be sure to check out Trufan.com/ustream this afternoon to actually hear us spout the crap that you read every day.

Go Sox.

82 Days.


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God Damn I Hate the Yankees.

Need I Say More? I just need something to happen, please.

Go Sox.

89 Days.


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MLB GM Meetings 2009: Let’s Get This Thing Rolling.

Workin Hard

Time to earn your bucks.

Well, the GM meetings are here, the teams are all wheeling and dealing, and the Sox have already signed a pitcher. Of course, that pitcher is Tim Wakefield, on whom the Sox had earlier declined a $4 Million option to sign him for two more years at about $5 million guaranteed. So we’ve got another two years of Wake making either opposing batters or the Red Sox front office look like idiots, but there is other news to report, as in the actual comings and goings type of news.

V-Mart looks good. The team has also picked up the option on Victor Martinez, and declined on Varitek and Gonzalez, both of whom may be back on smaller contracts (Tek has a player option for 2010 at $3 million, which he has three days to decide on). Also on the way out are Rocco (nice to know you but Hermida has better upside and his mitochondria are fine), Nick Green (it turns out you can’t win a World Series with Nick Green at shortstop) and Chris Woodward. That leaves Jed Lowrie as our only big league short stop and he can’t stay healthy any longer than a rookie big man for the Los Angeles Clippers.

Scoring like we know he can.

Five more years. seriously. at least.

On the other front, the Sox have offered Jason Bay four years at $60 million, and gotten rejected, so they are either going to have to bump up the years, or pony up a few million more per. I think the best bet is to go with the years, as Bay is only 31 and has the type of body to age gracefully, and ponying up more money for less years just puts the team in a worse situation four years from now if he is still as good as he is today. Bay, along with Billy Wagner, have been declared type A free agents, so even if he does bolt, the Sox get a first rounder and a sandwich pick (between the first and second rounds in a “fake” round), and the same goes for Wagner, who seems to want to close. That is only if the club offers arbitration.

Those uniforms are hideous.

He'd look much better in Red White and Blue than he does in Piss Stain Yellow.

The real deals will be made on the trade market, not the free agent one (after Bay, Matt “I’m only good in the NL” Holliday, and John “I seriously don’t have the physical ability to close my mouth” Lackey, the three best free agents are old guys who spent last season in pinstripes). The big prizes are Roy Halladay, who has told the BJs that he won’t be back after his deal runs out, Adrian Gonzalez and Felix Hernandez. The latter two are both young, very very good, and locked up for at least a few more years, but trading them could net their present teams a much healthier minor league system. I’m sure the fact that Jed Hoyer has been running the Sox’ system for the past few years (before becoming the Padres’ GM) wont hurt the Sox chanses to make something work.

All in all it’s an exciting time, keep checking in for the most exciting news from Chicago since Oprah ate Tom Cruise’s head live on air (I hear she’s fat again).

98 Days.

Go Sox.


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Welcome Back to the Hot Stove.


Hot Stove

This is where Peter Gammons became a god.

I know the Red Sox started the Hot stove season yesterday with the pickup of Jeremy Hermida, but the real wheeling and dealing is yet to come.


And I couldn’t be happier.

Now is the season of anticipation, and that is what baseball is all about. Anticipating the pitch, the swing and the play, holding your breathe because with every windup there could be triumph or tragedy, championships or complete epic failures. That is what the whole winter is about. Ninety-nine days of “Who will go where?” and ” What is going to happen this year” are all that separate us from actual players in actual official workouts.

We al know that the Sox have to do something big, whether is is trading guys who will never be good for Adrian Gonzalez, or resigning Jason Bay (hopefully both, John Henry you cheap bastard), this is the year to make the big move, bigger than J.D. Drew, bigger then Dice-K.

Just make it happen, Theo, it’s time to sack up.

I can’t f#$%ing wait.

99 days.

Go Sox.


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Is it possible that the Red Sox just traded Jed Hoyer for Adrian Gonzalez?

How Many of Those Do You Think You'll Raise in KC, Scotty?

How Many of Those Do You Think You'll Raise in KC, Scotty?

Scott Pioli, Josh McDaniels, Eric Mangini, Charlie Weis, Romeo Crennel. All of these guys were poached (it was legal, so I guess it’s not poaching per-se, but I like the word) from the Patriots front office and coaching staff since the team has become a perennial championship contender, and now the same thing is happening to the Sox. For the Sox, however, it may become the in they need to make the blockbuster trade needed to return pop to their lineup.



Yesterday Jed Hoyer was named the new GM of the Whale’s Vagina Padres (whose previous GM, Kevin Towers was offered a job with the Sox, as was J.P. Ricciardi), and hopefully he will be sending his old boss a gift basket full of delicious soups, smoked meats and cheeses, and a power hitting first baseman who is only 27 years old. True, the Sox would have to give something on par with Clay Buchholz and Michael Bowden (or possibly Papelbon and a toaster waffle) back to the Pads for their new cleanup hitter, but with the financial flexibility that the team will have at the end of the 2010 season (Papi, Lowell, Beckett, Varitek and Wake could all come off the books), and the thin free agent market, this might be the time to make a big move, like in 2005.

He'd Look Really Good in a Red B.

He'd Look Really Good in a Red B.

At that time it was Hoyer, along with Ben Cherrigton, who will take Hoyer’s old job, that pulled the trigger while Theo was off crying in the corner because Larry Lucchino had been mean to him. That tells us that he has the balls to do something big, and also that he would be willing to move a potential offensive superstar to stock up on young pitching.

Once the Bay situation is taken care of there may not be much to speak of as far as excitement around here this off season. The free agent class is very thin (I really hope the Yanks get Holliday who sucked it up in his only AL experience this spring in Oakland) and there won’t be all that much going on in the trade market. Unless, that is, Theo takes time out from his busy schedule of picking fights with people to try to convince the fans that J.D. Drew is worth $14 million (he is going kinda nuts with this) and puts the screws to his former underling to get us a basher.

Either way, Eff the Yankees tonight. And every other day.

113 Days.

Go Sox.


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