Tag Archives: Julio Lugo

Say Goodbye To Lugowood. And Canada.

I Suck

I Suck

Well, that time has come, and Julio Lugo is no longer a member of the Boston Red Sox. He was designated for assignment by the club, to be traded or released within the next ten days (retroactive to last Friday), and seeing as he has sucked away money and time from the team for the past 2-1/2 seasons, his departure is a long awaited respite from sucking. With the absence of Lugo, Lowrie was added back to the roster and hit a bomb in his first game as he continues to rehab his knee and wrist. Of course, this means that we add him to Nick Green, who has sucked a lot less than Lugo, Renteria or anyone else since Nomar was good in 2002 (except Alex Gonzalez, who was awesome). I’m not going to miss him, or his errors, inability to turn a DP, or ability to kill a rally. It’ll be great when the Sox get back to Fenway so that I can bask in the glow of a Lugoless ballclub.

This is what Halladay did to us yesterday.

Doesn't this kind of look like he's wearing a powder blue BJs uniform?

Have I mentioned lately that I hate it when the Sox are on the road, especially in Canada? They can never seem to get it together up there, this time losing two of three to the fourth place Blue Jays and falling to just one game ahead of the Yanks in the division. Yesterday was a Roy Halladay game, one where Jon Lester pitched well enough to get the win but came up against the hopefully NL bound buzzsaw known as Doc Halladay. It was vintage Roy, a complete game (so there is no hope of getting to him by beating the bullpen), with no walks (low pitch count) and six K’s (usually at the most inopportune time for the Sox). But at least the rumor mill today indicates that the Phillies are the most likely destination for Halladay, giving them the odds on chance of being the NL team that loses to the Sox in the World Series.

Tonight the Sox get to Texas, where the Rangers have been a surprise but have been sucking lately. Let’s jump on that like Quagmire on a sleeping teenager.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Sox Return the Favor

The Sox, trailing 5-1 in a dismally played game, pulled it together of a 9th inning Youk 2-run homer and then Rocco singled in 2 on a base hit. Pedroia left em loaded in the 9th but Bard & RamRam combined for a few scoreless innings giving Julio Freakin Lugo the chance to single in Ells for the game winner in the 11th which Done completely reverse cheered by texting me at the top of his at bat “Lugo will screw this up.” Papelmoose cleaned it up for his 20th save of the season.

Sox beat Os in Extras.

Sox beat O's in Extras.

Baldellis single in the 9th brought home 2 and sent it to extras.

Baldelli's single in the 9th brought home 2 and sent it to extras.

StartMattCassel

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Blame It on the Rain, or Go Eff Yourself, It was a Crappy Tuesday Night in Baltimore.

You Suck Tonight........Next!

You Suck Tonight........Next!

Yeah, that was not a fun game. It was a complete meltdown by our bullpen in a game that we lead 10-1 and ended up losing. But other than the fact that I’m not going to watch SportsCenter today or read the globe other than the, you know, “real news,” it’s not going to affect me that badly. The bullpen, which, I remind you, is the best in the Majors, melted down on a night when they were asked to pitch five innings and when they were tired from two weeks of goddamn interleague. That plus we lost our third baseman to the DL for the next two weeks. Blame it on the Rain.

Smoltz looked great, not dominant, but better than anyone else's fourth guy

Smoltz looked great, not dominant, but better than anyone else's fourth guy

Of course, there were bright spots (and I will enumerate them because I am such a cheery person). First and foremost was our new friend, John Smoltz. He had thrown 53 pitches through four innings of one run ball and seemed to be getting stronger. His command was there, and he was pitching just as well as we had hoped when we signed him last winter. If not for the rain, he wouldn’t have had to come out, easing the strain on the bullpen and lessening the chance of a meltdown, as well as leaving them fresh for the rest of the week. Blame it on the Rain.

Jeff Bailey, who replaced Lowell on the roster, was 3-4 with three runs scored and a triple in his return from the minors. Youk was 3-5 with a double and a homer. Ells had his fifth homer of the year. Even Lugo had a decent game, getting on base in the ninth with a chance to tie the game, but it’s still his fault for even being in the lineup (I’m serious, I get the Rudy Seanez feling every time he plays, and we just win when Green starts). But it was all for naught.

But just relax all of you people who are going to comment on here that the Sox aren’t as good a we think. It’s not football, or any other sport with a short season. This was one game out of 162, we are still leading the best division in baseball with the best record in the AL, and we have done all this without hitting on all cylinders for a single game all season. Does anyone want to face this team in October? No, because the pen is (normally) unhittable, the starters are deeper than even we thought, and we have one of the top four lineups out there.

Don’t worry, just Blame it on the Rain

Best. Video. Ever.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Lost Weekend…….. Nope, I Mean That We Were Lost All Weekend.

The Lost WeekendSo, apparently this is what we missed this weekend:

Bay and Green High FiveOn Friday night Jon Lester treated the Phillies like they were printers and he was reenacting Office Space for seven innings. Lester made them look bad, holding them to one run on two hits and thoroughly assuring them that they are not as cool as us (and that whole revolution thing? We started it, not them, and you’re welcome). Ram-Ram gave up a ninth inning Bomb to Ryan howard and all I could think was that it was over, because the Sox never win on the road in extra innings. But lo, and Behold, reports of Julio Lugo’s sacrifice to Jobu at the hands of either Brad Mills or Pedro Cerrano (who wanted a live chicken, but all we could find was Lugo), were false. Lugo, Jason “I always do something cool” Bay, Ellsbury, and Mike Lowell each singled, along with a ‘Tek walk and Nick Green sac fly,  to score three in the thirteenth and finally win one on the road. If anyone noticed, as Daniel Bard was recording his first Major League save, Javier Lopez was nowhere to be found this time, and we won. Hmmmmmmm.

Youk and Bay fist bumpSaturday was Dice-K’s turn to suck so badly that I sometimes wish that the Sox would just let his work visa lapse and he would get deported. He did not (or did, I don’t really know which one, because by disappointing us and sucking he didn’t disappoint us in the knowledge that he would suck) disappoint, only making in through a few innings (interrupted by an hour and a half rain delay). However, that Lugo guy came back big again for the second straight game, going four for five and teaming with Bay and Ells, both of whom hit bombs, to give the Sox a 11-6 win in another great game from the ‘Pen.

Yesterday just sucked. It rained all day, the Sox lost 11-6 and the only good thing to come out of the day was that Beckett hit a home run as an apology for disintegrating out on the mound. Bard finally had his meltdown (rookie relievers all eventually have one), made all the worse by Saito walking two with the bases loaded. It was an awful way to go into an off day but still nice to see that the Phillies know that they would have gotten shitkicked in the World Series last year had Joe Maddon not signed that deal with satan.

The Marlins come to town tomorrow and Luis Castillo is worse at baseball than I am at playing the bagpipes.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Getting Back to Work Sucks But The Boston Red Sox are In First Place

I just thought that that fact might make getting back to work after an awesome Memorial Day weekend a bit more palatable.

Even our food had beer in it.

Even our food had beer in it.

After four days of drunken chicanery in an undisclosed location in one of the northern states of New England (Mass’ bastard children), we all return to real life today, but lo, and behold, we all return today with the Sox back in their rightful place atop the American League East. It was a great weekend of drinking, wiffle ball, grilling, drinking, shuttlecocking, tree chopping, fire building, and drinking.

As far as the Sox are concerned there were a few key things that we captured from this weekend.

Julio Lugo is really bad at baseball. Daisuke Matsuzaka is perfectly justified if he kills Lugo with a sword for effing up the double play that cost the Sox the game on Friday night. It was the Wiggler’s return from the DL (vaginitis), and he definitely pitched well enough to win.

He's Good Again

He's Good Again

Is there any doubt that the Sox have the deepest rotation in the bigs? With Matsuzaka back, Masterson is back in the bullpen, while he would be a top three starter in most any other city, Buchholz is working up his trade value with a 1.30 ERA and coming up a single in the ninth short of a perfect game, Bowden is developing nicely, and a guy with 200 wins and 150 saves will be ready to come off the DL in a few weeks. If the Sox aren’t dealing from a position of power now, then they will never be.

Josh Beckett isn’t there yet, but he has his moments and after his annual two week DL stint in late June/early July he’ll really hit his stride. Saturdays game was vintage stuff and he looked as fired up as he has been in a while. Eight innings, five hits, one run, and he should have gotten the win. Anyone think he’ll be spitting nails before Thursday’s day game start? (that’s right, 1:10 PM from Minnesota, start getting your excuses ready. May I suggest kid’s/nephew’s/little sister’s school play?)

Paps is sadPapelbon giving up two homers in the weekend (F#$% instant replay) is like somebody drinking half a bottle of “Dragonberry”  rum (there is no such thing, it’s just strawberry with dragonfruit, and I was really hoping it would make me breathe fire), throwing up into the fire and then passing out on top of the firewood (hypothetically). Throwing out the Mauer homer (because he’s obviously on ‘roids: He has 11 home runs in a month, and hasn’t had more than 13 in a season for his career, and was out the month of april with back troubles/finishing his cycle), Paps needs a clean outing in a game soon just to get his confidence back because we really need him on the road, where a tie going into the bottom of the ninth has been a loss all season.

Let's go get drunk.Sunday was the best day of the weekend, on both ends. It started out as badly a it could. We got up and it was crappy out, rainy and gray (Wake gives up four runs and the Sox are down after losing the last two). Then the toilet broke and we had to find a plumber/septic guy on the Sunday of Memorial Day Weekend, which is impossible, especially in the boonies (The Mets score again in the top of the fifth). Not as bad as we thoughtBut just as everything looked like it was going down hill, we were getting ready to leave/get really drunk (whichever came first), the Septic guy (Nick Green, because being the Sox shortstop is shitty since Nomar cursed us) shows up (hits a two run single) and then it gets beautiful (Youk’s three run bomb) and we all get to go swimming, barbecue and do all of the things we had been hoping for all weekend (Sox win 12-5). It was a good day.

Jason Bay is still really good.

And to top it all off, Brad Penny is 5-1 and if you erase the two stinkers he laid, his ERA would be great. Not bad for a cast off fifth starter.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Tim Wakefield Gets It Done.

Wake pitchesTim Wakefield did what needed to be done, as he has all season. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t see that this guy is the best bargain in Major League Baseball (lifetime renewable contract for $4 million a year, the same type of deal we all claim we would sign if given a chance to play for the Sox)? Wakefield, who is 42 now but because of the knuckler can pitch until he’s 200, went out last night at made David Ortiz’ little league performance this season a moot point. He threw eight innings of five hit ball, the only blemish being a bomb over the monster by Kevin “Don’t let us win tonight. This is a big game. They’ve got to win because if we win we’ve got Pedro coming back today and then Schilling will pitch Game 6 and then you can take that fraud stuff and put it to bed. Don’t let the Sox win this game.” Millar (and it’s O.K., because he said that and then got the walk that allowed Dave Roberts to Steal Second Base, plus we still won last night), and got all kinds of Blue Jays on all kinds of pop outs.

Kottaras Pop FlyYeah, pop flies may not be exciting, but last night they were like good porn (the kind with midgets and clowns). There was even a use of the infield fly rule (and Pedroia caught it anyway, which I see as wasted movement), and just to make things interesting in the eighth, Bailey  and Pedroia let one drop between them, so that Wake could look good by getting out of a jam.

He looks like he's in the middle of a shart. Maybe that is the problem.

He looks like he's in the middle of a shart. Maybe that is the problem.

As much as it was nice to stay ahead of the Pinstriped Assholes, and gain a game on the Jays (can someone please explain to me how they have played three more games than the Sox? The Sox have only had four off days, the Jays have had two. How does that add up to three more games? I think this must be what it feels like to lose your mind) , the issues facing the Sox become more glaring every day. Another error at short by Theo’s Mistake (Most Cursed Position In Baseball), another 0’fer for the artist formerly known as David Ortiz (it’s not him, it’s John Gochnaur in one of those suits from Men in Black), and another anemic night for an offense that is missing it’s core are all reasons to be  worried.

Let’s just enjoy the win, thought, and remember that after an 0-6 rehab stint at Pawtucket, the Beard is going to be back in the lineup tonight. Fear the Beard Toronto, fear it.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Green Throws One Away, But At Least We Found a New Way To Drink.

The Shortstop of the Second.

The Shortstop of the Second.

Not much to say today. Sox lose today on a bottom of the ninth inning error by the Shortstop of the Second (is there anything that scares you more than extras/bottom of the ninth in a tie game when the Sox are on the road? It’s pretty much guaranteed that they are going to lose), and the curse of Nomar continues. They won last night (how good is Jason Bay? That good) but have now lost each and every west coast series they have played this season. The good news? The won’t be back to the west coast unless it happens in the playoffs. The bad news? Youkilis, Ortiz, and (am I really saying this?) Lugo are all hurt (or just suck) and the lineup looks like something that the Blue Jays would have run out there four years ago.

Speaking of the Blue Jays, they come to town Tuesday (I effing hate off days) with a three game lead in the division. It’s a chance to get back to our regular 7:10 PM schedule, and also pick up a few games on the division leaders.

Wine, Meet Face.

Wine, Meet Face.

In other news, I have found the coolest drinking device in the world. It is called a porron, and it enables you to pour wine directly into your face from it.  F@#$ Coors light and their cans and bottles that turn blue (what makes it the coldest beer on the planet? how is that measured? doesn’t the fact that it tastes like shit make it’s coldness a moot point?) this is the best way to put booze in your face. This is not only a great way to get wasted, it is a challenge, as the farther away from your face you hold it, the cooler you look. I plan on purchasing one this week and experiment with combining it with Pabst (in a never ending attempt to discover what Pabst won a blue ribbon for).

Go Celtics. Go Sox.

Done.

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