Tag Archives: New England

Artificial Turf: The Sucking is in the Numbers

Need more of this.

It’s been a very deflating season for the Patriots… and almost shows signs of a rebuilding year. There are some injury-excuses on offense; Brady looks up & down, Fred Taylor went down, Matt Light, etc… But on defense, these are the groceries we shopped for in the draft and during free agency. The value proposition has yielded us an adequate young, deepish defense that lacks a lock-down corner and the playmakers to make it a force. To support this D, our offense needs to be able to throw up 30+ on any given Sunday… in 4 out of 5 losses, the Patriots have been held to under 22 points (per game).

0-5 on the road is just ball-less.

New Team Rule: No "company" after 2am.

A source close to the team has posed this variable: The majority of our offense are veteran players. Veteran players have wives and families at home. Therefore, in order for the old boys to fulfill their athlete strange-box quota, they need to get all their vices in on the road. Follow the formula… they’re all out till 4 a.m. on gameday partying with Mrs. Buchholz.

For the Patriots to win, the offense must generate at least 25 first downs, throw for about 300 yards and rush for another 100. That’s what the numbers show: I checked the stats.

The two losses that should stand out enough to induce vomiting are the Colts, which is a game that should have been soooooo in the bag, and this Sunday’s nut-kicking in Miami. Again with this going for it on 4th down… WE GET IT BILL…

Bottom line, at least the rest of the division sucks. Down the stretch: Panthers, @ Bills, Jaguars, @ Texans… and we’re gonna need more than two.

StartMattCassel

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Artificial Turf: Kicked in the Fantasy Balls, Effing Brady

I suck so super hard.

I felt sorta this deflated after the Super Bowl loss to the Giants. I mean last night wasn’t just some loss, it was a thorough ass kicking from start to finish. Frankly, Brady sucked. He didn’t play McKenzie at all like he should have and he missed several uncovered receivers in favor of double and triple coverage. Not to mention I needed 17 fantasy points for the win from Welker, Moss and Gostowski COMBINED and I came up one 2 short and effing lost. I needed one extra point, unfortunately, the Patriots needed 3 plus the preceeding touchdowns.

Don't fucking touch me asshole.

Immediately in the game I liked the aggressive stance going it for it twice on 4th down in the opening offensive series… but as the game went on nd we continued to make those gambles and need them more and more… it really did feel like the it was a confidence issue with the young defense. Brees and the Saints really lit our asses up and Bush wasn’t even active.

And where was Edelman? If you watched the game you saw him standing on the sidelines in full uniform with his helmet off watching some dbag from the practice squad (#15) take his minutes. He must have done something unforgivable in practice last week.

Take this page here... and turn it into fucking toilet paper.

Bottom line, Brady sucked, the defense sucked, special team coverage sucked and the Saints had the upperhand all night. The Saints and the Colts are 10-0 and are the best teams in football separated by home field advantage and the Vikings with the MVPerforming Favre are a close second/third.

It’s a ridiculously exciting football for the all-around fan, a team that started 0-6 has a playoff chance for christ sake. Essentially, any team with 5 wins can make the playoffs by winning out and the 7-4 Patriots are looking down the stretch to an increasingly important week 17 game against the Texan which isn’t exactly a lay up…

I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

StartMattCassel

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Artificial Preview: Jingle Jangle in The Big Easy

To

For the

Very Simple game plan:

The Patriots will win by one point tonight if they can play Patriot football. Brady will need to extend the field with Moss so that Wes Welker, Kevin Faulk and Lawrence Maroney can be more effective underneath. Given the Saints’ flexible run defense, I think Faulk is going to be a big X factor as the Pats attempt to beat the unbeaten.

The major key to the game is to not let Darren Sharper score a defensive touchdown.

Accomplish that, and we’re looking at a win for the Good Guys.

StartMattCassel

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The Patriots. To Cover.

Wet with anticipation.

Wet with anticipation.

And so it begins. And off we go. We’re underway. And a host of other crappy expressions that signify the start of football season. Once again, we will be giving away our picks, and demanding half your booty. I don’t really mean that, but we are going to be posting the Ballpark picks against the spread. And the real season starts tonight, with the Patriots game.

SMC: Pats to Cover

Done: Pats to Cover

StartMattCassel

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Artificial Turf: The Media Day Hoax

Sports Fans, Media Day is a hoax. First off, all the players have been “media trained.” For those of you not in the trade (I’m not either… i just know what media training is), it means that everyone is conditioned to give canned responses to about 85 versions of the same question. You won’t hear any bulletin board material, and when you do… you can’t trust it.

I site first the infrequently stopped at podium of NFL Sack Leader, James Harrison. Here’s a guy that is never afraid to be outspoken, and as could be expected… was. When asked by some unnamed reporter if the Steelers D scheme would be the same we’ve seen all season and if Harrison liked the game plan he responded: “Hell no I don’t like it one bit.”

“Why not?” the Reporter replied.

“Because it doesn’t focus of my talents and doesn’t use me to the best of my abilities.”

The Steelers James Harrison. He even looks like an old time football dog. This image could be hung right up there with the Greats, Dick Butkis, The Original LT... you name it.

The Steeler's James Harrison. He even looks like an old time football dog. This image could be hung right up there with the Greats, Dick Butkis, The Original LT... you name it.

This, presumably, means that the scheme will have him dropping into pass coverage to help stay the Desert Birds’ air attack. Now… this is a man who had 16 sacks in the regular season, is in the running for Defensive Player of the Year and an All Star… telling me that the D Heavy Steelers AREN’T going to unleash him on Kurt Warner?! I don’t buy it. Harrison will be comin, Kurt. Don’t believe a thing he said.

Media day, though necessary for the NFL Network and a choice few good remarks, is fairly useless. The real writers could care less. Draft Day, The week after the regular season when coaches get canned, the end of pre-season and the trade deadline; THOSE are the real Media Days.

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Tom Brady... rehabbing. Hard.

Tom Brady... rehabbing. Hard.

Now, on to Brady: 1st of all, to those that read the Boston Herald, or more-so, to those that read the Herald and then get pissy when you see images of him in Costa Rica kissing his amazonian beauty… get over yourself. If he wasn’t in Costa Rica, and he wasn’t kissing his ridiculously hot underwear model girlfriend (or faience or wife… depending on what celeb gossip site you read), I would be supremely worried about him.

And just like media day… don’t believe a word you hear about the progress of his rehab. Don’t believe Him when he goes on Canadian radio shows to hype his pain cream (the white, not the clear), don’t believe the media when they tell you there is a “source familiar with the situation,” and definitely do not believe anything the Pats tell you. BELIEVE ME: Brady should have had the surgery at Mass General Hospital, where they perform 15 a week, not some childhood physician who trembles under the knife and causes career and rehab threatening infection. Bad. Move.

I believe Brady will be starting under center game one of next season and that Cassel will be somewhere else, possible Jacksonville. But that… just like EVERY other report you hear… is mere speculation… even fantasy in my case.

***

James Harrison makes the case against Streaking.

James Harrison makes the case against Streaking.

Super Bowl picks coming tomorrow. Who YOU takin?

StartMattCassel

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