Tag Archives: New Orleans Saints

Sex Addicts Anonymous: Super Bowl Champs Edition

Steve Phillips: In the Strange.

Second things first: I just turned on ESPN to see a clip of Baseball Analyst Steve Phillips explain that he just got out of the same Mississippi Sex Clinic as Tiger and tell us all about the first step, “that he is powerless over his disease and his life became unmanageable.” I mean… come on. Anyone who is familiar with last call and the end of a Johnny Walker bottle has found themselves powerless over their life. Does this make us all sex addicts? No. No it doesn’t. It means that when Steve Phillips makes it rain at C Folds he doesn’t just stop at the “Light Touching Mezzanine,” he goes straight to the Champagne room where all the rumors are true.

And another thing (Sports Center is still on…) Is Dana Jacobson the real Sasquatch? Seriously… she’s a monster. She could have played the tall one from Deuce Bigalow.

But I digest…

This is not a funny picture or caption.

Eff you Colts, Eff you Jim Caldwell, Eff you Peyton Manning and Eff you Indianapolis. Watching the Saints win the Super Bowl was just perfect. Though it was a soft year in commercials, I personally supplemented my normal commercial watching routine with an abnormal excess of eating and drinking.

To be completely honest with you the reader, (I’m watching you), I didn’t watch a ton of the game. I was immediately defeated by the 10-0 Colts burst to begin the game and may have had one to many comforting libations,  and with every second of tedium that ticked by while The Who played their old white guy medley, Freeney’s shredded Schilling ankle got tighter and tighter to the point that it was simply unusable in the second half. As the 3rd Q progressed, the Saints were simply more and more dominant.

Go Nuts, World. We are gonna party.

The most exciting moment of the game for me was Tracy Porter’s INT. He was just so clearly prepared for that play and might as well have been inside the heads (and bodies) of Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne. As Porter sprinted towards the endzone, 6 points in-hand, and pointed to the stands as the flash bulbs went crazy, this chemical reaction happened and everyone in my living room went crazy.

Warren Sapp, in fact, celebrated by posting bail on charges that he choked a hooker. True Story.

There were no more holdouts after that, from that moment forward, the entire country knew the right team was winning. There’s something inside all of us that wants to be a Saints fan. The combination of values and partying that the Saints stand for simply inspires us as fun loving Americans.

The image of Super Bowl Champion and MVP Drew Brees standing on the podium with his son raised above his head as the confetti and cheers rained down on both of them is the sports moment of eternity and New Orleans should be not only INCREDIBLY hung over, but very proud of their team. It wasn’t cheesy, it was awesome.

Go New Orleans and Go Drew Brees.

And Go Katfish.


The Best.



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Because This is Gonna Be The Biggest Party Ever……

I’m taking the Saints to win. SML (StartMattLeinart) and MVPork are taking the Colts to crush the hopes of a region that nobody can really hate. Unless your name is Manning, or you are from Indianapolis, you’ve gotta be pulling for the Saints (even if you think they’ll lose by two touchdowns).

Go Saints.

11 days.


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Artificial Turf: Haiti and the NFL Playoffs; Here’s to Sports, and to the NFC

On January 12, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake devestated Haiti. Nearly 200,00 are estimated to be dead or wounded.

The first thing that must be mentioned this week is the tragedy that occurred in Haiti. A devastating earthquake crippled an already impoverished country and pretty much leveled anything they had going for them, hospitals and municipal services certainly included. As is always the case with an international tragedy, members of the professional sports community were affected. Andre Berto even canceled his January 30th fight with Shane Mosley. Of course our thoughts and prayers are with all of those affected by the earthquake.

What makes the realm of professional competition so special is its ability to unite for the greater good. Simply put, Sports can be the biggest thing in the world, but the world is always bigger than sports. Since the quake, the American Red Cross has blanketed sports advertising with a campaign to text “Haiti” to 90999, which strongly urge you to do. Through this initiative, the Red Cross has raised over a $1,000,000. Further more, the Athlete’s Relief Fund for Haiti is set to match the figure.

Obviously, hundreds of millions of dollars of relief funds will ultimately reach Haiti, but it is worth noting and commending the sporting community for its immediate generosity.

Keep hands, feet and small children away from Rex Ryan's mouth.

In similar but less fatal devastation, and as predicted by the Ballpark a couple weeks ago… New England sports fans will be forced to choose the lesser of two evils this week as the Colts host the Jets in the AFC Championship. X’s and O’s, the Colts will have a tough time with the Jets… just like the San Diego debacle, the Jets will limit the Colts’ deep passing game, blitz like crazy and run the ball out of Peyton’s hands… which suck because that means they’ll win the effing game. I am personally rooting for the Colts for one main reason: I don’t wanna feed Rex Ryan. If the Jets go to the Superbowl, let alone win it which I don’t think will happen in any event, it will really really suck. I’m rooting against the division so the Patriots will be better by comparison and hopefully pound the Jets into submission next season.

Jared Allen: Coming for Drew Brees.

The other game this weekend features the New Orleans Saints playing host to the Vikings of Minnesota. First, let it be known that I have hated Brett Favre as a Packer and a Jet with a serious passion… In Purple, however, I’ve kinda liked him. The Vikings offense has played WAY up this year and Favre had his best season in his 78 year career. The Saints, on the other hand, have such a physically gifted set of receivers… and the human highlight reel z-back in Reggie Bush… I just don’t see them scoring less than 35 points… which the Vikings can match. The difference maker in this game is going to be Jared Allen’s ability to cripple Drew Brees. Hold the Saints to under 30, and the Vikings go to Miami.

Current betting lines: Indy by 7.5; New Orleans by 3.5.


8 PM Addition:

I freakin hate pre-march / pre-season college basketball. Coming off a night in which both tide-me-over teams lost (Celtics and Bruins) there’s absolutely nothing awesome on athletically. There’s crappy college basketball and the AHL All Star game. Puke.

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Artificial Turf: NFL Playoffs Continue… Sans Patriots

There are only two reasons to leave USC, NCAA Sanctions and Millions & Millions of dollars.

I’m still suffering some withdrawal symptoms form the Patriots loss, and my 5 day ban on Patriots talk is still in effect. Unfortunately even last night’s Scalabrine post went horribly askew. What we do have to entertain us is the situation at USC. Basically, Carroll is jumping ship before the NCAA sanctions leave USC bowl ineligible for the next 65 years. Pete Carroll should be excited about the move, in the NFL he will actually be allowed to pay his players.

That story should occupy us through today, today and tomorrow we have the McGwire story and that’ll carry us right into the pre-game coverage for the upcoming playoff week. Even though the Patriots aren’t a part of it, it’s generally regarded as the best week in football (not including the week in which your team wins the Super Bowl). We’ve got the 8 best teams in football all playing each other.

"Go fuck yourself."

Dallas/Vikings: HUGE quarterback matchup. The Cowboys have been riding sky-high and their pass rush might be operating at as high a level as any other team in football right now. Their running game is solid and they managed to win their first playoff game in their new home. That being said, I think they’re in for a let-down game. Brett Favre, who is rested and healthy and playing at home after the bye week and whom is having the best season of his career, simply has this one in the tank. All Day Adrian Peterson will run for 100 yards and 2 scores and Favre will light up 3 TDs and only cough it up once.

Cardinals/Saints: If the over under was six million, I’d take the over. Brees and Warner could both be good for 400+ yards. The winner of this game will be determined by the Yards After Catch stat. Which ever team’s receivers perform best will win the game.

Colts/Asshole Ravens: I never thought I would root for the Colts… what I really hope is for the Baltimore team plane crashes into the homes of each of the Colts players (and a little piece of engine shrapnel hits Eli’s house too)… But baring that act, I think the Colts will win at home against the Ravens.

Revis is exceptionally good.

Chargers/Jets: The effing Jets. Shit. I hate them and their fat asshole coach too. I think, unfortunately, that the Jets are the best suited to match up with the Bolts. The Chargers have lived on chuckin-it-deep… The Jets back 7 will limit Rivers’ ability to go deep and the Jets’ leading run offense is going to keep the ball away from the Chargers. We’re gonna end up rooting for the frickin Colts to get to the Super Bowl. Shit. Where the fuck are the Patriots. I hate them so much today.

More to come on the Patriots as they enter the offseason.

Happy Footballing, Sportsfans.


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Artificial Preview: Jingle Jangle in The Big Easy


For the

Very Simple game plan:

The Patriots will win by one point tonight if they can play Patriot football. Brady will need to extend the field with Moss so that Wes Welker, Kevin Faulk and Lawrence Maroney can be more effective underneath. Given the Saints’ flexible run defense, I think Faulk is going to be a big X factor as the Pats attempt to beat the unbeaten.

The major key to the game is to not let Darren Sharper score a defensive touchdown.

Accomplish that, and we’re looking at a win for the Good Guys.



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