Tag Archives: New York Yankees

Last Night’s Pearl Jam Concert Was Amazing…… The Sox Flushing Their Season Down the Drain Sucked.

I know it’s the second post in a row with a Pearl Jam video, but it’s better than the alternative.

Last night’s set list: RELEASE, ANIMAL, THE FIXER, IN MY TREE, ELDERLY WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER IN A SMALL TOWN, FORCE OF NATURE, GIVEN TO FLY, SAD, UNTHOUGHT KNOWN, PILATE, HAIL HAIL, PUSH ME PULL ME, EVEN FLOW, UNDONE, NOT FOR YOU (MODERN GIRL), RED MOSQUITO, GOT SOME, STATE OF LOVE & TRUST, WHY GO

FIRST ENCORE:
BEE GIRL, JUST BREATHE, LOVE REIGN O’ER ME, RIVAL, SAVE YOU, REARVIEWMIRROR

SECOND ENCORE:
SMILE, WASTED REPRISE, BETTER MAN / SAVE IT FOR LATER, SOLDIER OF LOVE, CROWN OF THORNS, ALIVE, ROCKIN’ IN THE FREE WORLD

All of these were awesome. Thank god I wasn’t watching this:

We live to play another day. Most of us.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Dallas Braden Gives Further Proof That A-Rod is a Complete Douchebag.

Thank God for Jon Lester and his mighty left arm. It was thanks to the awesomeness of Lester’s left, and the vomit inducing ineptitude of A.J. Burnett’s right at  Fenway Park that allowed the Sox to avoid the sweep and get back (yet again) to .500 baseball. Alas, Billy Hall and his magic pink bat did not make an appearance. While Victor is still sucking and there are innumerable other issues with the Sox, there was one (other) truly feel good story this Mothers Day that left the Yankees on the short end of the stick.

Braden is calling to his grandma, not calling for A-Rod to come fight him.

For those who don’t know, during an April 22nd game in Oakland, Alex Rodriguez, noted ball slapper and other ancient rule breaker (he once called out as he was rounding third base in an attempt to get the third baseman to drop an easy popup), ran across the mound as he was returning from third base to the first base dugout after being retired. Dallas Braden, the day’s starter for the A’s, took offense to that, telling the mighty Douche to get off his mound, and in no uncertain terms. According to the New York Post it went something like this:

Braden, that afternoon: “You want to run across the mound? Go run laps in the bullpen. That’s my mound.”

Rodriguez, that afternoon: “I had never quite heard that before, especially from a guy who has a handful of wins in his career.”

Braden, a few days ago: “There are things that are going to have to happen . . . We don’t do much talking in the 209 [area code of Braden’s hometown of Stockton, Calif.].”

Rodriguez, in response: “I really don’t want to extend his extra 15 minutes of fame.”

I really hope this is his nickname.

Well, now Braden has proof that it is really his goddamn mound. Yesterday, on Mother’s Day, with his grandmother, Peggy Lindsey, in the stands (unfortunately Braden’s mother passed when he was in high school), Dallas Braden threw the 19th perfect game in the history of Major League Baseball. It was an awesome sight to see Braden embrace his grandmother on the field and celebrate with his teammates. What was better than that? When asked about the feud, Lindsay said, “Stick it, A-Rod!”

Awesome.

the Jays are in town and they suck just about as bad as we do so it should be a good one. Lackey’s on the hill with another chance to drive the Sox up over .500 and get something going. 7:10 can’t get here fast enough.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Do It For Your Moms!

Bill Hall knows how to do it for his mom.

After two days of being treated like a red headed step child, hopefully the Sox will show up and put one on the Yanks for their Mom’s today. Lester’s back on the hill (and he’s been absolutely nasty lately) to try to shut down mom-haters Mark Tiexiera and Douche-Rod, the primary antagonists for pretty much everything the Sox do these days.

I’ve already expressed my opinion (in poop) about all of the events of friday night, on the diamond, court and ice, and there’s not much more to say about a Sox team that looked like they just wanted to get out of the rain yesterday because they were afraid of messing up their hair.

Unfortunately Bill Hall’s not in the lineup to continue his Pink Bat mastery, but the Sox have a chance to pinch a big one on one of their favorite pinstriped punching bags, A.J. “Who Farted” Burnett. What better way to honor  your mother than kicking some Yankee ass?

Go Sox.

Done.

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It’s O.K. to Take Pleasure In Other People’s Misfortune as Long As By Other People You Mean Joba Chamberlain.

Douchebags.

There are some Yankees that I can’t bring myself to hate. Derek Jeter plays the game the right way, is a standup guy and doesn’t seem to take himself too seriously. Same goes for Joe Torre (when he was one of them). But ever since I first heard of Joba Chamberlain, I knew he was going to be one of those Posada-esque Yanks that I couldn’t help but hate. My Asshole Yankees Fan Cousin sealed it a few years ago by gushing over him like they were dating.

So that is why it makes me happy to report that as of today, the fat Nebraskan with the meth addicted mother has a spring ERA of 27.00 and is apparently not just dropping out of the running to be the Yanks’ fifth starter, he might not eve be on the team when camp breaks. Seriously, he lost the 5th starters job that was his and is now pitching so badly that he might not be worth a roster spot.

Here’s to hoping he enjoys Scranton.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Joba, Still Fat, Excited About Randy Winn…. Kinda.

Joba Chamberlain, one of four guys who are vying for the final spot in the Yankees rotation this season, along with Phil Hughes (whose emergence in the eighth inning was one of the primary reasons for their run), Sergio Mitre, and Alfredo Aceves (who was a crappy reliever), told reporters what he though of GM Brian Cashman’s offseason moves yesterday, and was generally very kind to them. Except forRandy Winn. (My thoughts in italics)

“I think Curtis (Granderson) is going to be great for us because he’s going to be in a different role than he was in Detroit,” said Chamberlain, perhaps alluding to the possibility of Granderson playing leftfield (Where Johnny Damon had similar numbers to what he’ll put up next year) . “Having Javy (Vazquez) come back and having something to prove, I think that’s going to be big for us, too (Remember last time, When he gave up that grand slam to Damon in Game Seven of the Greatest Collapse in Baseball History?). Nick Johnson being here, a guy that can get on base for us and do those things (if he can stay in the lineup for more than four days at a stretch), and Randy Winn’s been at the game a long time.”

Not Exactly Tim Tebow's Bible Verses

My favorite part of that whole thing was the last part. “Randy Winn’s been at the game a long time.” Not in the game, at the game. And all he can say about the guy is that he’s been around a long time. Like as if he just showed up at a game one day and never left, or he’s Milton from Office Space and they can’t get rid of him. This is the same Randy Winn that was the best player on those awful Devil Rays teams of the late 90’s and has been floating around stinking up the joint ever since. Last year Winn had 2 home runs, 51 RBIs and a .262 average, not bad, except for the fact that the guy he’s replacing (or who his signing shut the door on) had 24 bombs, 17 of those at home, where he won’t be playing any more, 82 RBIs and hit .282. You have no idea how excited I am to see him hitting in the two hole (hey-0) instead of Damon.

It’s good to hear that I’m not the only one who thinks the whole situation there in the New York outfield has been botched. But hey, I hope all those Yankees fans are excited for the dangerous Brett Gardner/Randy Winn duo out there in center.

Go Sox.

15 Days.

Done.

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Put Your Head Between Your Legs and Kiss Joe Mauer Goodbye.

He'll probably be doing this in Minnesota for a long time.

It is with much sadness that I report that Joe Mauer will likely not be getting$12 billion from the Red Sox next winter. John Heyman of SI.com is reporting that Mauer, who has two more batting titles than any catcher in the past really long time, and the Twins (who are the team he grew up watching, so it’s kinda cool) are nearing an agreement on an eight year deal for somewhere in the area of $180 million.

This makes resigning Victor Martinez even more important, as the Yankees are in the market for a catcher after Jorge “The Pear Shaped Bastard” Posada’s contract runs out. The Sox are said to have been already working on an extension with Josh Beckett, but this will add extending Victor to their to do list.

Of course it’s really a disappointment for those of us who had dreamed of seeing Mauer, who may be better at baseball than Albert Pujols and Chuck Norris combined, in a Red Sox uniform. I’m sad, but knowing that he won’t be terrorizing us in pinstripes for the next decade is a nice consolation prize.

So congrats, Minnesota (I’m sure our buddy MN Preacher will find some way to work this into his sermon on Sunday), you win one this time. I hope it makes you feel better until you realize that Brett Favre is the quarterback of your football team (ba-zinga).

Go Sox.

17 Days.

Done.

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God Damn I Hate the Yankees.

Need I Say More? I just need something to happen, please.

Go Sox.

89 Days.

Done.

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