Tag Archives: NFL

It’s An Off Day, So I Can Forget About The Red Sox for A While.

Did you ever think I’d write that? Me either, but here we are, with three weeks left in the 2010 baseball season, and I need a break. I can’t stop watching all nine innings every night, but it’s more like rubbernecking at a car accident than really watching with any hope. I’m curious about the kids, and trying to figure out what should happen with Ortiz and all of the old guys, but the passion just isn’t there. Basically watching the Sox crumble with injuries to the hitters and inconsistencies among the pitching staff (how ya liking Colorado, Manny?) has made me hate myself.

In an attempt to make myself forget about the pain in the ass that is the slow death of the Red Sox, I have turned to another source of daily entertainment, the NFL. The problem that I have always had with the NFL is that there isn’t enough daily action. So, in the midst of the too-little-too-late beatdown that the Sox were throwing at the Rays last night, SMC and I participated in my first ever fantasy football draft. I’ll say this, it was boring. With a 16 team league and all of the tools that the Mothership (we decided to do it through ESPN) there wasn’t much excitement to it. Either take the best guy available or the best of whatever you need, but the research, analysis, and most of the decision making was already done for me.

As it turns out, the later rounds get kinda thin (though it did allow me to pick up both the Law Firm, BenJarvus Green-Ellis, and LeGarret Blount, who I can depend on to get some points for punching people) but over all my asst. GM (MVPork) and I are pretty happy with the way things turned out. Maybe this will keep my mind off the fact that it is still about five months until baseball gets exciting again (the Hot Stove is too intermittent).

Today is an off day, so enjoy tonight (good yontif to those members of the tribe out there) and I’m taking the Saints (-5) over the Vikings to start the season tonight.

Go Sox.

Done.

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With Pro Bowl and Media Days, Sport’s Most Boring Week… is still boring

Leinart Reign: No wait... that's just beer.

First, let me just recognize: Kurt Warner has retired. He’s a guy with a really cool story, from bagging groceries to leading the Greatest Show on Turf and even getting crushed by the Patriots in the Super Bowl… he’s a Hall of Famer. PLUS… his wife must know the nipple trick referenced in The Wedding Singer because he has been married to the same woman since entering the NFL, which is worth noting this day in age, especially because she is shades of Frankenwoman.

Matt Leinart: The Anti Tebow

And so fate has opened the door for the career of Matt Leinart, who after he was photographed groping two women (at the same time) in a New York night club after the Heisman Trophy presentation, went on Dave Letterman… not to deny it, but to tell the world the truth: “What? I’m in college and I was wasted.”

When asked of his girlfriend at USC, he indeed confirmed: “We’re not married.

He’s like… the Christina Aguilera of dudes.

It just gets better.

So that’s the coolest thing that has happened in the world of sports in the last 8 days… there are a few tide-me-over sports going on right now… the Celtics and the Bruins both suck right now… and in an effort to boost ratings for the Pro Bowl, Goodell moved the game to before the super bowl and declared it “Super Bowl Week”… but it just sucks outside. The Pro Bowl in general is just asinine. Not a single one of the NFL players are interested in actually playing the game… and 14 of the selected players weren’t even eligible to be there (they’re in the Super Bowl). They should just announce the Pro Bowl selections and send each one of them and their families to Hawaii for the week.

Chad Ochocinco: Snuggie, bitches.

Colts media day is currently in progress and the most exciting thing hasn’t happened yet… I am yet to see any representatives from the recently formed Ochocinco News Network (OCNN), which has gotten Chad Ochocinco a bunch of press passes and party invitations… He’s freakin hilarious… oddly enough has never won a championship…

With more as the week progresses,

StartMattLeinart

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Divisional Round Picks: The Pats Still Lost Last Weekend.

Fav Spread Dog Done SMC MVPork
at N’Awlins 7 Arizona Zona AZ NO
at Peyton’s kids 6.5 Ray Lewis Ray Peyton IND
at Dingleberry 3 Dallas Dingleberry Poop Minn
at San Diego 7 Jersey SD Jersey Girls SD

If you can’t figure out our sophisticated code, you are not very smart.

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For All The Marbles, We’ve Got Your Week 17 NFL Picks.

This is what I'm gonna do to SMC, and I might even win a bet too.

Like Carter Pewterschmidt putting U.S. Steel up against Ted Turner’s CNN, SMC and I have all the marbles riding on this week’s games. What are these “Marbles,” you ask? They may be as simple as a slap to the face with a phonebook, as complicated as the creation of a new religion around the winner (complete with all manner of degrading practices), or as anticlimactic as dinner on the loser. We are still waiting for the world (also known as the Red Sox) to get back to business after the new year, but in the meantime we can always enjoy a Sunday of NFL football (which is actually means something, unlike every college game for the past four weeks). 47 more days until spring. Nice.

Last Week: Done- 5-10-1; SMC- 6-9-1; MVP- 6-9-1

Overall: Done- 91-102-3; SMC- 92-101-3; MVP- 36-44-1

Favorite Spread Dog Done SMC MVPork
At BUF -8 IND BUF IND IND
At CAR -7 NO NO CAR NO
At CLE -1 JAX JAX JAX CLE
At DAL -3 PHI PHI PHI PHI
CHI -3 At DET CHI CHI CHI
At HOU -8 NE NE NE HOU
PIT -3 At MIA PIT PIT PIT
At MIN -8 NYG MIN MIN NYG
SF -7.5 At STL SF SF STL
ATL -2 TB ATL ATL ATL
At AZ -3 GB AZ AZ AZ
At DEN -10 KC DEN DEN DEN
BAL -10.5 At OAK BAL BAL OAK
At SD -3 Wash SD SD WAS
TEN -6 At SEA TEN TEN TEN
At JETS -9.5 CIN JETS JETS JETS

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Artificial Turf: Patriots Feeling Especially Randy

Feeling the love, baby.

One thing was clear when Coach Bill and QB Tom came to the public defense of Randy Moss: We need him. And yesterday, we got him. Moss contributed 3 TD scores on 4 receptions in the Patriots 35-7 romping of the Jax Jags. 13 of Brady’s 23 completions on 26 attempts went to Mr. Welker (who is crushing the league in receptions) and the good guys ran the ball by committee for 197 yards, led by Slammin Sammy Morris with 95 yards and a Six.

So my formula seems to be working: Rush for over 100, score more than 24, and protect the football. (Not a very original formula… but it sure does get the j-o-b done.)

The boys in blue are gearing up for their January run. Last year proved that all you need is a spark to push through the playoffs and the Pats are doing their best Cardinals impersonation as they look ahead. The best part about yesterday’s whoopin was the sideline attitude, they looked loose, and that’s what we need.

A man on a mission.

What we need to remember about Moss, getting back to the ordeal the national media made out of his 2 off-games, is that Randy Moss is only upset by one thing: losing. If you look back at the griping pattern of Randy’s career, it happens when he feels like the team isn’t doing all they can to win ball games… so of course he was a pain in the ass when he played for the Raiders. And frankly, when you compare our prima donna to the rest of the league’s Number 1 wide outs, Randy’s the one we want.

Cry your eyes out, cuz ya suck.

Another thing worth noting about yesterday’s events was the mail-it-in performance the sissy ponies (Colts) put up against the Jets. With no more unbeaten teams in the NFL, it sure does look from my seat like the Peytons had a chance to take a 25 game winning streak into the playoffs and now risk riding a 2 game losing streak and a bye week into January. It is thoroughly beyond my comprehension how you can tell a bunch of paid-professional competitors to just ease up and take lumps.

That's the game face we're lookin for... fa'sho!

So we start looking ahead… the AFC has 5 teams in the 8-7 club and through some incredibly complicated formula… it seems like any one of them may be a guest in Foxboro fo the wild card round. Currently, I’m optimistic, although being a New England fan, that may change 27 seconds from now.

I simply can’t bring myself to believe that the Bill/Brady combo can lose in the 1st round of the playoffs. We beat the Texans next week, we beat our first round opponent in the playoffs, and the poop-talking will begin again. That I can promise you. The Jets are in a win-and-you’re-in situation… and oh boy, I’d love to stuff it down their throats next month.

Go Pats.

StartMattCassel

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Thursday Night Football Saturday Night Special… Seriously, that’s what they’re calling it.

At New Orleans   -7.5   Dallas

Done: Dallas

SMC: Dallas

MVPork: New Orleans

You're such a dufus, Tony Romo.

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Cleveland Sucks, So We’re all Taking Pittsburgh.

Oh, and there is a football game tonight. Steelers -10.

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