Tag Archives: Oakland A’s

Dallas Braden Gives Further Proof That A-Rod is a Complete Douchebag.

Thank God for Jon Lester and his mighty left arm. It was thanks to the awesomeness of Lester’s left, and the vomit inducing ineptitude of A.J. Burnett’s right at  Fenway Park that allowed the Sox to avoid the sweep and get back (yet again) to .500 baseball. Alas, Billy Hall and his magic pink bat did not make an appearance. While Victor is still sucking and there are innumerable other issues with the Sox, there was one (other) truly feel good story this Mothers Day that left the Yankees on the short end of the stick.

Braden is calling to his grandma, not calling for A-Rod to come fight him.

For those who don’t know, during an April 22nd game in Oakland, Alex Rodriguez, noted ball slapper and other ancient rule breaker (he once called out as he was rounding third base in an attempt to get the third baseman to drop an easy popup), ran across the mound as he was returning from third base to the first base dugout after being retired. Dallas Braden, the day’s starter for the A’s, took offense to that, telling the mighty Douche to get off his mound, and in no uncertain terms. According to the New York Post it went something like this:

Braden, that afternoon: “You want to run across the mound? Go run laps in the bullpen. That’s my mound.”

Rodriguez, that afternoon: “I had never quite heard that before, especially from a guy who has a handful of wins in his career.”

Braden, a few days ago: “There are things that are going to have to happen . . . We don’t do much talking in the 209 [area code of Braden’s hometown of Stockton, Calif.].”

Rodriguez, in response: “I really don’t want to extend his extra 15 minutes of fame.”

I really hope this is his nickname.

Well, now Braden has proof that it is really his goddamn mound. Yesterday, on Mother’s Day, with his grandmother, Peggy Lindsey, in the stands (unfortunately Braden’s mother passed when he was in high school), Dallas Braden threw the 19th perfect game in the history of Major League Baseball. It was an awesome sight to see Braden embrace his grandmother on the field and celebrate with his teammates. What was better than that? When asked about the feud, Lindsay said, “Stick it, A-Rod!”

Awesome.

the Jays are in town and they suck just about as bad as we do so it should be a good one. Lackey’s on the hill with another chance to drive the Sox up over .500 and get something going. 7:10 can’t get here fast enough.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Who The Hell is Oakland and Why Do They Deserve A Baseball Team?

Eff Oakland. Eff Alameda County. Eff  The Colors Green and Gold. Eff the Letter A.

This is now last night's game made me feel.

This is now last night's game made me feel.

What started out as a great night at the old ballyard in the Fens turned out to be a four hour suckfest which drained all hope from my body. I blame it on Nomar. For the last two months he was here he took just about everything cool and made it suck with his angry face (no seriously, the guy kind of always looks angry, even when he’s smiling. I think it has something to do with the fact that his nose makes him look like the witch in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, just not green), and now he is doing the same with special events that his awful team just happens to be in town for.

You Are Welcome, Jim.

You Are Welcome, Jim.

Jim Rice Night was awesome. The number got unveiled on the right  field facade, Jims family and friends were on the field to salute him, along with many of the guys he played with. He was relaxed, eloquent and happy in his speech, more so than at Cooperstown on Sunday. The Sox banged out 5 runs in the third to give their young starter (some guy who’s going to end up as a Blue Jay) a lead that they should never have relinquished. Everybody was hitting, Ellsbury was stealing bases, it was a good night.

Yeah, that sucked, we know.

Yeah, that sucked, we know.

And then a shaky Papelbon (if you didn’t see this coming eventually, you are crazy, he’s been rocky for a few weeks now), two errors from Nick Green (a career backup who hasn’t played like it for the past two months) and a breakdown in the rest of the pen doomed me to an extra hour of sitting on the couch, sweating like Rich Garces at a rib eating contest, and cringing with every pitch. I just knew that this one wouldn’t be pretty from Paps, and he’s allowed a shitty night every now and then, but this wasn’t just another night, it was a chance to take a game back from the Pinstriped Assholes (who lost to the Rays).

I really don’t know who to blame for this one. The bullpen, the defense (O.K. only Nick Green, because Pedroia and Lowell both made sick plays in the 11th), Pedroia for not being able to get the two out hit in the 11th to score Kottaras from third, or the entire city of Oakland.

I choose Oakland. I can’t see a reason for their city to have a baseball team, football team or modern plumbing. Aren’t all of those things available just across the Bay in San Fransisco? Either way we’ve got two more nights of shitkicking to put on these guys heads before spending the weekend at Fenway South (possibly with some Canadian guy pitching for us, or not).

Go Sox.

Done.

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Well……. That Sucked.

Dammit.

Dammit.

When we pitch we don’t hit. When we hit we don’t pitch. Most nights we don’t do either. At least tonight we don’t have to stay up until 2:37 am to continue this nightmare that is the 2009 season. With a Travis Buck infield single at 2:33 this morning (east coast) the Red Sox lost their sixth game of the season, furthering the downward spiral that has engulfed much of New England. As badly as this year has gone in the short (has it only been eight days, really?) start to the baseball season, DO and Jerry were actually commending people for staying up into extras last night.

Yup, looks like Vaginitis to me.

Yup, looks like Vaginitis to me.

The Wiggler fell to the ailment that we all know was going to hit him after pitching 14.2 innings in the WBC, vaginitis, as he left the game following the first. He was a lucky one. Even Smoltz looked like he was freezing and in pain in the dugout as the game moved into the 12th. Dice-K (who is not cool enough to get a Transformer name at this point, unless it is Arcee) threw 43 pitches in an agonizing first inning, giving up 5 runs on five hits and two walks. He then was lifted, walked up the tunnel and left the game to his bullpen. The team later reported to the press box that it was arm fatigue, to which our wonderful announcers immediately responded (probably just trying to talk us in off the ledge) that every pitcher goes through this in spring training. well, it’s not spring training. He’s probably out for the season, needs to have his arm amputated, and going to put a curse on the team for slighting him by saying he was tired.

Though the Sox dropped to 2-6 and continued many of the trends that have led to me waking up each morning and checking the standings just to make sure it wasn’t some type of cruel nightmare, there were a few bright spots to last nights game/4.5 hour stomach punch.

He is Oki-Doki

He is Oki-Doki

Let’s start with the ‘pen. Starting with Justin Masterson, they threw 10 shutout innings. The nastiness that we had hoped to see was on display as they came at the A’s from all different angles and with all different pitches. Masterson gutted out 60 pitches of genius, perhaps heralding his return to the rotation as Dice-K cleans the sand out of his pussy. Delcarmen, Ram-Ram, Paps and Oki all did their parts and the only hit charged to Lopez, who took the loss, was an infield single (the walks killed him though). This is definitely something to build on as they play their last game on the west coast today (with Saito the only guy who is rested) and then come home for a much needed off day and some home cookin’. It was a great job by a bullpen that may likely prove to the the difference in the AL East this season.

We can't even win on a night when Captain Sully (still the man) throws out the first pitch.

We can't even win on a night when Captain Sully (still the man) throws out the first pitch.

Also, we scored three runs in an inning for the first time since Opening Day. Drew, Bay, and Lowell all had big hits at different points, and at the end, all of the balls that Jacoby was hitting straight at people (atom balls) started to fall in. The bats are coming around, as evidenced by the 12 hits grinded out, and the numerous ones taken away by the stellar defense of Jason Giambi at first base (no seriously, stop laughing, he took away at least three basehits with good plays at first, and more with scoops on bad throws). Many of the outs were even hard line drives that just happened to go straight at guys (atom balls).

Get some rest, you know, at work, and then enjoy coming up with a way to get out at 3:35 for today’s Getaway Day game. Wake is on the mound trying to end this debacle of a road trip on a high note. Maybe today someone will grow some Clutchitude®.

I’m beginning to be convinced that this is all because they have gone back to blue socks and sleeves for the retroad unis. What was wrong with the old ones again?

Go Sox.

Done.

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