Tag Archives: Patriots

Artificial Turf: 2010 NFL DRAFT EDITION; “Dolphins keeping up with the Jets,” Patriots in Deep Purgatoric Catatonisism.

This Fat Bitch has made his team a lot better.

As our divisional foes south and southerer of us continue acquiring pieces to their generally bettering puzzles, the Patriots remain mum in the free agent market. In New York, aging HOF fixtures Jason Taylor and LaDainian Tomlinson have been RexBeaten into Manhattan (their an effing team from New Jersey, why is nobody else offended by their ‘NY’ headline) and Miami has added Brandon Marshall in a deal with Denver (Marshall is like… crazy good.)

Shoulda. Coulda. Woulda. Just don't f#$%ing trade down.

But alas… the rust continues to build on the once prolific 2007 Patriots offense and the skills of the defensive additions continue to ebb and flow… lots wells, not enough swells. We did add Torry Holt to the receiving corps… The now 33 year old pulled in 51 balls in Jacksonville last year for 722 yards.

Tonight, finally, is the NFL Draft, the most exciting and most entertaining Professional draft. I love the new format and as we look ahead to tonight and tomorrow night in particular, I’ll be paying excruciating attention to Patriots picks… because we really need some Blue Chippers.

Belichick loves this guy. No Homo.

The Pats have the most picks in the AFC; enough to bring in an entire side of the ball, plus a kicker. (Twelve picks.) The 22nd overall and then three more in the 2nd round. No 3rd rounders but we have another surge of picks, seven, in the 6th & 7th round. Generally this wouldn’t mean squat, but even with the suck bags the Patriots have blown high picks on during the Belichickian Era, they are SNIPERS with their late round picks, Alla Julian Edelman… and Tom Baby Making Brady.

The Patriots last 5 First Rounders have been (off the top of my head… so in no particular order): Mankins, Maroney, Marriweather… Watson… and… Mayo. Mayo, Mankins and Merriweather are pretty freakin good, not to mention Big Vince Wilfork in 2004.

We need lots of those. And keep in perspective, as you watch tonight’s draft: This draft is waaaaaay deep. Almost every prospect slated to go in this year’s second round would have been solid late First Rounders last year. And we have 3 picks tomorrow night. So pay attention.

StartMattCassel

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Week 14 Pickarooooooooooos

Here are the picks… none of us are off to a great start after the Steelers’ stinker in Cleveland… and I’m not even taking the Patriots this week. It’s not that I don’t think they’ll win… but the Patsies aren’t beating the Weston Wildcats by 13 points. But I do think every team in the AFC East will win.

Last Week: Done- 5-10; SMC- 6-9; MVP- 8-7

Overall: Done- 75-87-2; SMC- 75-87-2; MVP- 23-26-0

Favorite Spread Dog Done SMC MVPork
At IND -6.5 DEN IND IND DEN
At MIN -6 CIN MIN CIN MIN
NYJ -3.5 At TB NYJ NYJ NYJ
BUF -2.5 At KC KC BUF BUF
GB -4 At CHI GB GB CHI
NO -10 At ATL NO ATL NO
At BAL -14 DET BAL DET DET
At Jack -2 MIA MIA MIA MIA
At NE -13 CAR CAR CAR CAR
At HOU -7 SEA HOU HOU SEA
At TEN -13 STL TEN TEN STL
WASH -2 OAK OAK OAK OAK
At DAL -3.5 SD SD SD SD
PHI -1 At NYG PHI PHI PHI
AZ -3.5 At SF AZ AZ AZ

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Artificial Turf: Kicked in the Fantasy Balls, Effing Brady

I suck so super hard.

I felt sorta this deflated after the Super Bowl loss to the Giants. I mean last night wasn’t just some loss, it was a thorough ass kicking from start to finish. Frankly, Brady sucked. He didn’t play McKenzie at all like he should have and he missed several uncovered receivers in favor of double and triple coverage. Not to mention I needed 17 fantasy points for the win from Welker, Moss and Gostowski COMBINED and I came up one 2 short and effing lost. I needed one extra point, unfortunately, the Patriots needed 3 plus the preceeding touchdowns.

Don't fucking touch me asshole.

Immediately in the game I liked the aggressive stance going it for it twice on 4th down in the opening offensive series… but as the game went on nd we continued to make those gambles and need them more and more… it really did feel like the it was a confidence issue with the young defense. Brees and the Saints really lit our asses up and Bush wasn’t even active.

And where was Edelman? If you watched the game you saw him standing on the sidelines in full uniform with his helmet off watching some dbag from the practice squad (#15) take his minutes. He must have done something unforgivable in practice last week.

Take this page here... and turn it into fucking toilet paper.

Bottom line, Brady sucked, the defense sucked, special team coverage sucked and the Saints had the upperhand all night. The Saints and the Colts are 10-0 and are the best teams in football separated by home field advantage and the Vikings with the MVPerforming Favre are a close second/third.

It’s a ridiculously exciting football for the all-around fan, a team that started 0-6 has a playoff chance for christ sake. Essentially, any team with 5 wins can make the playoffs by winning out and the 7-4 Patriots are looking down the stretch to an increasingly important week 17 game against the Texan which isn’t exactly a lay up…

I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

StartMattCassel

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Artificial Preview: Jingle Jangle in The Big Easy

To

For the

Very Simple game plan:

The Patriots will win by one point tonight if they can play Patriot football. Brady will need to extend the field with Moss so that Wes Welker, Kevin Faulk and Lawrence Maroney can be more effective underneath. Given the Saints’ flexible run defense, I think Faulk is going to be a big X factor as the Pats attempt to beat the unbeaten.

The major key to the game is to not let Darren Sharper score a defensive touchdown.

Accomplish that, and we’re looking at a win for the Good Guys.

StartMattCassel

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Artificial Turf: Patriots Cool Jets, Yet all not Right with World, Joe Mauer

AAAAHHHHHHHH. It's not about Randy vs. Reves... it's about the Patriots vs. Jets... and the Patriots kicked the Jets' asses this weekend.

Maybe it’s  because Sunday’s shellacking of Mark Sanchez and the New York Jets was so expected, or maybe it’s because it’s that boring stretch of the year before Thanksgiving and the holidays… but Boston seems to be somewhat caught in the doldrums of late November. The entire week consisted of all the national talking heads bashing the decision to go for it against the Colts and we even had to hear Bruschi yappin away about how it meant Bill didn’t respect the defense.. well I have news for you, Bruschi’s not a Patriot anymore, he’s a national talking head paid to say what he says and he’s dead to me.

The Pats are 7-3 and they’re 4th in the Ballpark’s current power rankings:

1. Colts

2. Vikings

3. Saints

4. Pats

5. Packers

6. Chargers

7. Bengals

8. Steelers

9. Cardinals

10. Texans

11. Giants

12. Falcons

13. Eagles

14. Panthers

15. Dolphins

16. Cowboys

17. Broncos

18. Titans

19. Ravens

20. 9ers

And if there could be power rankings for tough little white receivers it would go:

1. Welker (who had 192 yards receiving on 15 tosses on Sunday)

2. Edleman

Bodden takes his first one of the day past number 6 and straight to the house.

If there’s one thing that’s really got me off kilter it’s how unfunny Family Guy has gotten. It’s screwing up my after-football television watching on Sunday nights and American Dad is now actually more funny (funnier) than Family Guy is. The humor is just too spread out with the addition of the completely unfunny Cleveland Show which is really just a drag to watch. This whole Family Guy situation has me really dejected. The League is the one show that’s really holding it together for me outside of the usuals; South Park and Always Sunny.

Peter Griffin

Any who. I’m gonna sit in front of Monday night football and be pissy.

And I lost my effing Fantasy game this week. I should have started the Patriots D, who clobbered what’s-his-name for like 75 interceptions, 3 by Lee Bodden. Not to mention 2 more sacks by Tully Banta Cain, the Pat’s best pass rusher this season.

Go Chiefs, btw.

And just one more thing… Major League Baseball and the State of Minnesota need to do everything in their power to help the Twins keep Mauer where he is. If he leaves the Twins, I will hate baseball. Unless he’s leaving to play for the Red Sox… and even then… I’d still hate myself a little for cheering for him.

StartMattCassel

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The Patriots. To Cover.

Wet with anticipation.

Wet with anticipation.

And so it begins. And off we go. We’re underway. And a host of other crappy expressions that signify the start of football season. Once again, we will be giving away our picks, and demanding half your booty. I don’t really mean that, but we are going to be posting the Ballpark picks against the spread. And the real season starts tonight, with the Patriots game.

SMC: Pats to Cover

Done: Pats to Cover

StartMattCassel

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Artificial Turf: At it Again! Pat’s Off Season Training Begins.

As always, Bill and the staff are out evaluating the new squad.

As always, Bill and the staff are out evaluating the new squad.

Off season Training Activities got underway at the start of this week. OTA’s are a way to bring in the rookies and new teammates to jump them up to speed on the complicated systems before mandatory camps start. Media hasn’t been allowed in yet, but the cameras and (real) sports writers will be let in tomorrow. I look forward to reading the reports and then funneling them into my own opinions for you.

The notable facts so far are the players that went into camp early. All the rookies, of course, and they will not be permitted to speak to the press tomorrow, per team rules, but we should all look forward to hearing from Fred Taylor. He’s like the Sean Casey of the Patriots. Not that he’s an old first baseman… he is a team-first player, only cares about winning, and is a terrific professional locker room presence. Great addition. Buy his jersey.

Line backers Tully Banta-Cain and Shawn Crable -who was injured for a huge portion of last season after a promising start- were both present and joined by defensive back Tank Williams, a former college linebacker, I might add. Veteran tight end Alex Smith participated as well. In total, 48 players reported and former Kent State QB Julian Edelman worked out with receiver groups and the word is he looked pretty confident on the field.

More to come as the reports continue to stream from Foxboro.

StartMattCassel

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