Tag Archives: SMC loves the cock

Closing Down The Site…… No Reader Interest.

And if you believe that……. The Red Sox have a new pitching prospect……… Yeah.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Live From The Sunshine State, It’s Week 16 NFL Picks

We’re in Florida for the week, and unlike last year when we were down here, nothing catastrophic has happened to the Sox. Yet. The whole world is on hiatus for the week so nothing super exciting is likely to happen any time soon.

We all dropped a stinker on Christmas (must be because we are Joos), so we’re all 0-1 this week.

Last Week: Done 11-5, SMC 11-5, MVPork 7-9

Overall: Done 86-92-2, SMC 86-92-2, MVPork 30-35-0

Favorite Spread Dog Done SMC MVPork
At GB -14 SEA SEA GB GB
At CLE -3 OAK OAK OAK OAK
At CIN -13.5 KC CIN CIN KC
At ATL -9 BUF ATL BUF BUF
At MIA -1.5 HOU HOU MIA MIA
At NYG -8 CAR NYG CAR CAR
At NO -14 TB NO NO TB
At NE -10 JAX NE NE NE
At PITT -3 BAL BAL PIT BAL
At PHI -7 DEN PHI DEN PHI
At AZ -15 STL AZ AZ AZ
At SF -14 DET SF SF DET
At IND -4 NYJ IND IND IND
DAL -7 At WASH DAL DAL WAS
MIN -7 At CHI MIN MIN MIN

We hope it’s as nice where you are as it is where we are. I’m headed to the pool.

Go Pats. Go Sox.

53 Days.

Done.

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Every Team is Better with a Guy Named Tug.

I don’t really know anything about this but the Sox just picked up a guy named Tug Hulett from the Royals. Here is the info from Extra Bases:

The club acquired versatile infielder Tug Hulett from the Kansas City Royals for a player to be named later or cash considerations.

Hulett, 26, hit .111 in 18 at-bats with one RBI in 15 games for the Royals last season.

He appeared in five games at second base (two starts), but also saw time at third base (one game), shortstop (one game), left field (one game) and right field (two games).

The lefthanded hitter, who is the son of former major leaguer Tim Hulett, spent most of last season at the Royals’ Triple A Omaha affiliate, where he hit .291 with 11 home runs and 53 RBI in 99 games.

Overall, Hulett owns a .194 batting average with one homer and three RBI in 45 games in the big leagues.

He probably won’t make the big club anytime soon, or will be flipped for Gonzalez/Halladay/Cabrera/Pujols, but hell, we have a guy named Tug, and that worked out for the Phillies (and Faith Hill). So we’ve got that going for us.

More on the trade ideas later.

Go Sox.

84 Days.

Done.

 

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Postmortem on the 2009 Red Sox.

Super BallsI’m not a great yugoogulizer, but bear with me. I’m only going to reference the giant kick to the testicles administered to me a few days ago by the now defunct 2009 Red Sox once. I will say that it was a good, if extremely frustrating season, one that could just as well have ended up in the shitheap along with 2002, 2006 and pretty much the entire decade of the 1990s (hold your horses Mr. “what about 99.” The Sox had no realistic shot in that series unless Pedro had been able to pitch seven times), or could have ended with assholes like me diving into the river to get closer to the duckboats.  What we got, as it turns out, is somewhere in the middle. A decent team that won 95 games, was streaky as all get out and gave us more great memories at the start of the year than the end. They backed into the playoffs, came up against a “Team of Destiny” (we should all know not to bet against a team that lost a guy early in the season, it’s just common sense), and got thrashed in the worst way possible.

Time to Hand Tito the Ball and Walk Away.

Time to Hand Tito the Ball and Walk Away.

This winter will be busier than usual for Theo and Co on Yawkey Way. They need to add a bat, keep Jason “I should have been given a five year, $80 million deal in June” Bay, and figure out what to do with the rapidly fading David Ortiz, Mike Lowell and Jonathan Papelbon. Yes, I did just say that Papelbon was fading. Yes, I did mean it. The Angels were more worried about facing Bard last week than Paps, and we all know that closers have expiration dates. The collapse at the end of Sunday’s game was just the last gasp of a season which he spent constantly teetering over the edge between being Mariano Rivera and Heathcliff Slocumb. If he can be used to get Adrian Gonzalez, Felix Hernandez, or anyone else that will have a significant impact on the 2010 Sox and beyond (see Sabathia, Fat Ass and Teixeira, Leigh) then Theo should jump at the opportunity. Especially with a rookie that throws 100 out there behind him. (this is not a snap judgement made after Sunday. It is a decision that I came to after many long conversations with my friends Johnny Walker, Sam Adams and Whateverhisnamewas Pabst.)

Please keep this man in town.

Please keep this man in town.

The top priority has to be Bay, a guy who the Yankees will throw more money than the annual budget of most public schools at, and making him the centerpiece of the lineup, along with Beardzilla and Pedroia, for the next five or more years. If they cheap out on this one I am going to walk into John Henry’s office and take a crap on his desk. Seriously. The man can afford it, and the fans need something to get excited about after the debacle that was last year’s offseason. The other priority should be figuring out how much it will cost to keep Joe Mauer away from Pinstripes (I know that they wear them in Minnesota, but that’s different), and work on turning Victor into a full time first baseman for 2011. (How nice would an opening day lineup of Ells, Pedroia, Mauer, Youk, Vic, Bay, any DH other than this year’s David Ortiz, Drew and Gonzo  for 2011 look? Yeah) Another bat for 2010 might be nice too, and you can be sure that Theo will find some scrap heap pitchers to add to the top four of Lester, Beckett, Buck and Daisuke. We can only hope that Wake can come back from the surgery to be the guy he was before he got hurt this year, and solidify the back end of that rotation, reducing then necessity for those reclamation projects which never work.

sox-rings2As we all slowly recover from a stomach punch of a Sunday afternoon, let’s just think back to the two World Series Titles that we have gotten to witness (two more than I ever thought I’d see in my lifetime, and I’m young enough that that is tremendously depressing), and the fact that most fans out there would give their left testicles for a season like we just saw. As extremely streaky and frustrating as the 2009 Sox were, they were ours and they gave us a hell of a ride.

124 Days.

Go Sox.

Done.

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A Year and A Day Later and We Still Suck.

Never Forget

Never Forget

One year ago yesterday, while mired in one of those jobs which crushes the soul and addles the mind, it all began. Frustrated over people’s constant under appreciation of Jon Lester and the surprise being shown at his tremendous effort in game one of the ALDS, I started this little site with my cousin, StartMattCassel, to set the record straight. 476 rambling, sometimes incoherent columns later, we are still at it (almost) every day. Nobody is more surprised than I am, because the two of us have never stuck with anything that took more effort than watching the game or lifting a glass for this long, and we had always made fun of those “you can read about it on my blog” guys.

We just want to say thanks for sticking with us, commenting and helping us to find better ways to express the unrealistic expectations, over the top reactions and daily heartbreak of being a Boston sports fan. We plan on continuing to be here for a good long time, so keep reading because our level of self worth is directly related to those little numbers that we see on our stats page every day. No Seriously.

The Sox won again last night, The Wiggler looked good, tonight’s game is probably not going to get played unless John Henry’s hedge fund goes up to the point where he can put a roof on Fenway this afternoon and all of the important guys are kicking ass at just the right time. Gonzo’s hand will be fine (even if we have to ducttape that sucker back together until November), and the only thing better than one Red Sox game on the last day of the regular season would be two.

Thanks for keeping us going. Oh, and F#$% A-Rod.

Go Sox.

Done.

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It’s Always Nice to End a Road Trip with a Firm Bitch Slap.

Fist Bumps for the SoxRemember in May, when the Blue Jays actually thought that the whole “Halladay and four rookies” rotation thing was going to work? Neither do I, because now the Blue Jays have devolved into the AL East’s version of the Sea Shepherds (impotent idealists who suck at what they attempt to do, especially after the last episode) and the Sox just left them bruised and beaten in their own house. Last night was just the icing on the cake.

Remember to breathe J.D., show us that you are not an evil Android sent to prepare us for the invasion.

Remember to breathe J.D., show us that you are not an evil Android sent to prepare us for the invasion.

First, it was vintage Lester from the fourth batter on, when he got Rod Barajas to ground into a DP , trading a run for two outs, and then setting down fourteen of the next fifteen in order. He went eight, saving the bullpen for the apokalypse that is about to descend on Fenway this weekend, and dominating in a way that has every other team in the AL hoping that the Sox don’t make the playoffs. In a short series the combination of Beckett (A.K.A. The Greatest October Pitcher in the Universe), Lester (A.K.A. He Who Shall Not Be Doubted) and either a newly confident Buchholz (A.K.A. The Guy You’d Give Your Left Nut To Be For One Night) or Wakefield/Daisuke/Junichi is the kind of thing that causes the Steinbrenners to keep a guillotine in their office for Girardi and Cahsman.

So Good.

So Good.

Second, the bats keep pounding and even J.D. “The Emotionless One” Drew got into the act, hitting two bombs and going 4-4 in a late season attempt to earn his $14 Million and prove that he has a pulse (I’m fine with him only starting to hit now as long as last night was the start of hotness and not just a spark that doesn’t catch). Victor continued to prove that he is worth keeping around, hitting another one out and guaranteeing that unless Beckett makes a specific request, Tek’s “Stiff Neck” will to bother him throughout the weekend. And if you don’t think Alex Gonzalez is happy to be back in Boston, look at the fact that he is hitting fifty points better here than he did in Cinci (and he’s the best defensive shortstop the Sox have had in my lifetime).

It seems to be all coming together just in time for the end of the world this weekend (and the return of Jerry Remy to the NESN booth), and a hot end to August would do plenty to reassure the faithful that we’ll get a chance to throw out that truly terrifying rotation in October (terrifying to other people, not to me, like the thought of Brad Penny starting tonight).

Just for fun:

Go Sox.

Done.

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52 Games and One Glimmering Ray of Hope Off the Bat Of Victor Martinez.

What are reasons that the Sox season isn’t over.

Here is the series of texts between myself and SMC last night at 10:40 PM:

Bard SucksSMC: That was all me. I sat down at the casino and said: hit this thing the mother f#$% out of the mother f#$%ing park. Everyone was appalled till it happened.

SMC: And now I’m the man.

ME: Play a hand of blackjack

SMC: We suck again. Cut them all. Where is halladay? And holiday? F#$% everybody.

ME: Your fault for claiming responsibility. Cunt.

SMC: F#$% everybody.

ME: I hope bard breaks Arods wrists.

SMC: F#$% swisher.

ME: With a Sharp Stick.

In reality, we were both pissed off.

This guy is a robot and an asshole, an assbot. The Fact of the matter is that we (by we I’m meaning the Sox, and possibly SMC who is in some godforsaken corner of the world, and though it is beautiful, the only thing that is keeping him sane is an IV of crown Royal and a steady stream of blackjack tables) have a 6-1/2 game deficit in the division, a tie for the wild card and fifty Two games left to go in this increasingly 2006-esque season and need some things to go right to avoid an end worse than the Crocodile Hunter. We need at least one of the pitchers (Matsuzaka, Wakefield, anybody else with an arm who can spot a fastball) to come back healthy and produce the way we all know they can. We need to get the bullpen a rest, and mostly, we need the bats to wake the f#$% up.

We Feel The Same Way

We Feel The Same Way

I’m not going to go through the stats of the past three nights, but the Bats have to come awake if anything is going to happen. This has become a slump (except against the Orioles, who suck ass) of epic proportions, with the complete inability to get a productive out, a big hit or even a home run in a the Stadium that is quickly giving a new meaning to the term launching pad. In the past three days, even Youk, Pedroia and Ellsbury have been on the slide, leaving most of us bored and in pain. other than the brief, glimmering ray of hope (which was crushed seven minutes later) provided by Victor’s bomb in the eight, this has been a week of despair like none I have seen since that bad five gamer in ’06.

Of course if you listen to most of the New York media, it may as well be October already.

We’re back at home tonight, and everything will be O.K.

Go Sox.

Done.

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