Tag Archives: Sox

Big Papi did Steroids, But it’s Cool. Seriously.

Not exactly roid rage.

Not exactly roid rage.

So out it came. Juicin. ’04, ’07, Manny, Papi. Without question, if they aren’t in Boston those years, we get no hardware.

It’s really important to begin with that statement so that people know I’m still sane… but honestly, Papi did steroids, and I’m cool with it. We all knew it already, kinda, when it took him a zillion plus games to hit his first dinger this year, and even if that wasn’t a direct result of him stopping when ever he did, it was enough to introduce the suspicion and condemn him subconsciously… the irony of course being that we were all right.

But I’m not givin’ back squat. I’m keeping my World Series trophies and I’m still rooting for Big Papi. Sure, if he was a Yankee, or Manny, or a pre-existing a-hole (or Rod), then ya, I’d freakin’ hate him… but he isn’t. He’s a guy that has been universally loved by every member of the Nation and he and his wife Tiffany have been model community citizens. Big Papi is good for Boston and for baseball. Barry Bonds was a pre-existing a-hole and A-Rod is so despicable that the best thing we could say about him was “at least he isn’t Bonds.” (Now we can just hate them both regardless… which is nice.)

It's Cool.

I’m cool with Papi because his equation still checks out. Whether or not you are one of the greats is a formula. Clemens was an a-hole (negative), but he was a dominating pitcher who mastered the mound (double positive). Clemens’ equation before steroids checked out because even though he was an a-hole, he was also The Rocket. Introduce steroids and he’s just some a-hole on drugs, his equation got thrown all out of wack.

Papi is a model citizen, involved with philanthropy and community, has a local business and a charming smile, helped bring 2 World Series trophies to Boston, blasted countless bombs on to Landsdowne Street and beyond, put smiles on the faces of MILLIONS of people and… ya, he juiced some. In an era when almost everyone was doin’ it (please not you, Griffey… please), pitchers and hitters alike, Papi Juiced. And when I look at everything he’s meant to the Sox, I’m square with it.

So go screw, Yankees fans; when you do it it’s cheating, when we do it, it’s just tryin’ harder. And ya, I actually feel that way.

StartMattCassel

6 Comments

Filed under Baseball

SUPER DOUBLE SECRET AUDITION

Clay was in control.

5 2/3, 1ER, 3k, W

Also, he still has a very hot girlfriend.

I wish I had a 12-6 Curve.

I wish I had a 12-6 Curve.

StartMattCassel

1 Comment

Filed under Baseball

People texted me from Kansas City

I looked at my phone at 10:07 last night and there was a text from the Original Riblah. It read: “The Royals… Really? For once I can be sorry for someone else.”

Homo Unerectus.

Homo Unerectus.

I had already switched from the game to more recreational activities (I was watching Deadliest Catch because I couldn’t find last week’s Whale Wars on demand) so I switched back over to the game and the suckbag Red Sox were getting womped around by the Royalty of Kansas Effing City. The best and most dominant bullpen in recent Sox history, filled with all guys I could name (what’s the last bullpen from any team that you could name and like all the guys in) gets tomahawked by the Cornfield Puffs.

Last night sucked super hard. A guy who is notorious for out drinking AA HOFers and then urinating on my micro fiber couch (with micro fiber, you just wick the urine away) texted me to tell me how sorry he was for my ball club. You see, to people in Kansas, there is this odd sense of semi-rivalry (it’s only to people in Kansas) because they constantly demand that someone else remembers Damon cam from there and that they were the ones Lester no-hit.

Last text transmission from Riblah: “Good luck in the ninth, I don’t want KC getting any more false hope.”

Done, myself and some chicks will be cheering them on from the stands this evening. Hold the rain, add beer, Go Sox.

StartMattCassel

2 Comments

Filed under Baseball