In other fat white guys news… The Rocket is a Liar

In a karmic boomerang of congressional action, Roger “I didn’t Do It” Clemens has been indicted for perjuring himself before congress. [Insert dirty joke about doing something to himself in front of congress here.]

All Natural.

Well, Roger… don’t you feel stupid. You’ve proven once again the old adage, it’s not the deed that does you in, it’s the lie you tell about it.

I remember thinking, while his boob of a lawyer, Rusty Overbill, was advising him to deny, deny, deny, that someone should get in this guy’s ear and tell them to make up a much better story about his trainer boosting his wife with B12 shots… and further more… that this dude is gonna fry someday soon.

Well, sports fans, that day of fryalation is at hand. The Wall Street Journal has reported Clemens’ indictment on six counts of perjury. It’s gonna get realllllly expensive from here on out for Mr. Clemens. Just think, every single pro athlete that pointed their finger at congress, telling them, “let me be clear,” or “make no mistake…” is not either in jail, in a foreign country, sans Olympic metals, or paying ridiculously high legal bills.

Guys in white suits always get themselves covered in sh!t.

Even the great chauvinist, Rick Pitino, who tactfully forced himself on some cocktail waitress in a dark bathroom somewhere, and then paid her to get an abortion (condoms are sooo 1990’s), said, “If you do something bad and lie about it, it becomes a part of your future. If you do something bad and tell the truth, it becomes a part of your past.”

SMC