Artificial Turf: Bruschi Fulfilled

The Fan's Man.

So one of the cornerstones washes away today and Teddy Bruschi Retires. Amidst a really embarrassing sob display of a press conference, from Kraft, to Bill… just croak-me sob story after croak-me sob story. It was very unPatriots of them… so it will definitely fuel rumors that he was forced to retire… but It was, in the end, legitimate. Both the press conference and his retirement.

Bruschi talked about the past couple days, and that the word he used when he spoke to his teammates was “Fulfilled.” His only goal left on the table was ‘winning a 4th Championship,’ which he noted was a pretty good problem to have.

Teddy retires after a 13 year career, spent entirely with the Patriots, winning 3 Championships and having 1 stroke. He rolled around on the superbowl field with his kids and out hustled everyone on the field when he competed.

The heat is now on for Gary Guyton, a promising second year player who has filled Bruschi’s spot on the roster…

I’m a little concerned.

StartMattCassel

I’m Alive and Blogging…

(10:49AM): Watching Bruschi press conference.

(10:55AM): Belichik talking now.

(10:56AM): Spilled mustard on computer.

(10:57AM) Just learned that Bruschi’s Rookie year was also Belichik’s first season with Patriots.

(10:58AM): They’re doing this ridiculous sob story collection.. how heard he worked… throat clear… how hard he hustled… throat clear… and some words to describe Teddy… Throat clear… Instinctiveness and… Passion.

This is embarrassing. A football player is retiring.

(10:59AM): ESPN switched to this other awful press conference about some recruiting ellegations…

(11:03AM): Coach is crying… very lame… he’s probably lying.

(11:07AM): Michigan Coach still crying

(11:08AM): This is more lame than Bruschi Conference

(11:09AM): Coach now talking about church

(11:11AM): Coach has still not denied any allegations

(11:12AM): OK… Bruschi back on…

StartMattCassel

OMG. Steven Seagal.

So, yes… Patriots Nation is going to hell in a handcart over the conspiracy theories that Bruschi is being forced out (not true… but I’m pretty sure no one tried to stop him), but before I get to that today, there is something you all must have access to.

Steven Seagal is going to be starring in an A&E reality show about his work as an actual deputy.

Seriously.

Paul Byrd Helps Red Sox Sweep Jays: Have You Heard?

Paul Byrd goes six, Sox beat Blue Jays 7-0. And this is a PSA:

Or, if you prefer the classics, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Pee Wee Herman:

Enjoy your Sunday.

Go Sox.

Done.

Freshman Girl Week, Absolut Boston and the Jimmy Fund Make For an Interesting Couple of Days.

I need to explain something to all of you who do not live in the City of Boston. It’s called Freshman Girl Week. This is the week when all of the kids come back to BU, BC, Northeastern and all of the other institutions of higher drinking in the city. The population around here swells by about 40,000 and the streets become cluttered with junk that people don’t want to move (which is how some of us furnished our apartments for the past ten years). It effects everything, from the 25 minute wait in Qdoba last night, to the crowd at the ballgame. It’s this week that all of the freshman who are coming to the city for the first time, and many of the other returning college kids, get tickets to the Sox game from their dad and spend the week messing up the flow of the concourses, getting lost and generally mucking things up for the regulars. The flip side to the whole shebang is the amount of young ladies who have no idea what is going on and are endlessly entertaining, especially if you are a dirty old man like MVPork. It doesn’t really have any bearing on the rest of the story, but I thought you should all know.

Not Gonna Fool 'Em All

So Freshman Girl Week not withstanding Thursday night’s game sucked balls. Sure, the whole Nick Green pitching thing was entertaining, but the start by Junichi (which had to be coming, A kid who spent last season in Japan’s version of double A was not going to continue fooling Major Leaguers without a bump or two in the road), and the loss in general made the whole night pretty sucky. After the most self indulgent version of the national anthem I had ever heard (David Cassidy actually took the microphone off of the stand and started walking around the field as if he was finding a girl to bang in the stands at one of his concerts thirty years ago, which is a possibility considering it was freshman girl night), it just went down hill from there.

Nine runs in four innings later and the Sox were getting pounded to the point where the In an attempt to change the luck I was even willing to leave the game early, which, unlike SMC, I never do, and so we dropped into Game On!. I like Game On!, the staff is um, courteous, the TVs are plentiful and the beer is readily available, but this time was different. We decided to try a shot of something called Absolut Boston. It is a special vodka from Absolut that is made just for our town, with black tea and elderberry. This sounds, at first like a great idea. Our own vodka, just for Boston. Yeah, No. This stuff tasted like what would be left over after they cleaned out the gutters after a rain delay, only with more alcohol.

The nice things about Thursday, other than the fact that Nick Green saved the bullpen for this weekend, were limited. J.D. hit two more homers, showed no emotion so as not to injure himself, and has started to look like he’s going to try to prove that he is worth $14 million this month (think June of last year, but kinda clutch). And don’t forget Alex Gonzalez. He’s so happy to be back in Boston that he is hitting .270-something and it seems like the guy hits one out every day. Awesome.

Last night on the other hand was a whole different sort of shit show. Two more home runs off of Beckett (thats 10 in his last three starts) on a crappy night, but this time it wasn’t too much for the offense to make up for. Even with unlucky bounces like the ground rule double that Ells hit to tie the score in the fourth (if it hadn’t gone into the stands that was three bases and another run in) the Sox found a way to come back and win, the big hits coming this time off the bats of Jason Bay and Casey Kotchman. The play of the game wasn’t with the bat though, it was the relay from Gonzo to Tek in the eighth that kept the score tied. Textbook relay and Tek blocked the plate so well that he didn’t even have to make the tag until afterwords when the guy was lying on his back in pain.

The whole two days was a success in my eyes because of the $4,550,786 collected for the Jimmy Fund by the folks at WEEI and NESN. You can still donate here, but with the economy the way it is, Red Sox fans have stepped up once again, and it’s a good thing.

Hopefully the rains clear and we’ll get to see if Buck can continue his string of good starts tonight.

Go Sox.

Done.

Say Good Bye to Brad Penny, Hello to The Jimmy Fund.

Jason Loves the Jimmy Fund, Don't You?

One night after SMC’s incredible catch (which is awesome but still makes me hate him, mostly for the 20 years of baseball games and zero foul balls I have to show for it), we are headed back to Fenway in both an attempt to catch another and in support of our favorite charity. Today is the first of two days of the WEEI/NESN Jimmy Fund radio telethon, and I want to encourage all of you out there to give whatever you can. I know that times are tough, but I’m pretty sure you all have 20 bucks to give to kids with cancer. It’s an awesome cause and should be a great night at the park with the Sox aiming for the sweep of the White Sox and alot of great people raising money to help heroic doctors and patients beat the shit out of cancer.

I'll only miss the one on the right.

On a sadder note, Theo took another loss while the Sox won last night. For the second time this season, one of his Patriots style reclamation projects was thrown on the trash heap as Brad Penny, and his hot Ex Girlfriends were put on release waivers. It was fun at the start, but in the end Penny only won one of his last eleven decisions and looked like a pussy in doing it. Which is to say that I’m happy to see him go. Of course, this is for a happy reason because TImmmayyyy is back up to his old tricks for the Sox and the holes in the rotation are getting shallower by the day. Imagine bringing vintage 2008 Wiggler back in mid September, that’s like trading for a guy who will give you six quality innings every time out, just in time to catch the yanks and make another generation of Steinbrenner douches cry.

Off to the park, hope to see you there, and even if you cant make it please give to the Jimmy Fund this week.

Go Sox.

Done.

Somewhere in Boston, a Blogger is Speechless.

Take that ya Yankee baaaastad.

I’ve been going to Fenway Park since before the 600 Club. To many of our readers, especially the ones that took me at that young age (and who take me still today), that isn’t much of a landmark, but to me and my generation, that’s kinda braggin rights. I’ve gotten to see Boggs break a bat over his thigh, Pedro K’ing 17 Yankees (and also mushing Don Zimmer into the turf), Manny, J.D., Lowell and Tek going back to back to back to back, a triple play, game seven playoff comebacks and a World Series Game One Victory. Like many Sox fans, I’ve been able to enjoy these moments with my Dad, Grandpas, cousins and friends, and that’s what makes the moments so memorable and so special. What happened to me last night though, may be the single coolest split second of my baseball life so far. (Including winning the Weston Little League World Series on a play at the plate. -Dad was coaching-).

***

My father, my girlfriend and I snuck off to the Sox game last night to watch Wakefield’s return to the hill against the White Sox. He went 7 innings deep, scattering six hits and one run on a great night of pitching. He found the strike zone for each of his first 16 pitches and Victor Martinez who had never caught a knuckler before was “A-” terrific. Come on… there’s always room for improvement… he did drop the first pitch of the game (called strike any way) and one tipped third strike that didn’t end up costing anyone. It’s worth noting for contrast that Tek is so bad at catching the knuckle that Nick Green went out there for warm ups one inning and they even gloved the first base coach for an inning as well.

RamRam came in the as the reliever in the 8th with a 2-1 lead, I believe I was on my 4th Vodka Tonic at that point (Go screw, they’re refreshing), and gives up a first pitch bomb to which ever suck bag Chicagoan was at bat and erased Wakes decision… this prompted my girlfriend (told you I had one), to turn to me and say, “Well now we have to stay.” It’s true that I usually leave early.

That spit is all over every ball.

So Bard comes in with his 101MPH heater to struggle us out of the 8th, and I jump up for one more zesty libation. I got to the bar (they don’t cut us off at the seats we were in) in time to hear a bunch of ChiSox fans cussing at “JD” -Jermaine Dye, who they hate- and I was back to my seat with 2 outs in the top of the ninth, Bard on the mound and Thome at bat with 2 strikes. I put our drinks down, and didn’t even need to see the crack of the bat, I knew the foul ball line drive was screaming right at us. It’s a sense you don’t know you have until you need it.

Without thinking or batting an eyelash, I moved her out the way with my right hand, leaned a hair left, and stabbed it with a bare left hand. I looked down, and there was my first foul ball. It was all instinct. She started screaming (I saved her effing life, by the way, and she looks at me and says: “I woulda had it.”), and the crowd around me, -behind, up and slightly to the right of home plate-, went nuts. I just stood there and looked at the ball in the palm of my hand.

It happened so immediately that before I knew it, the moment had passed, and the teams were changing sides. An usher came over quickly to see that we were alright. When he asked me if I wanted any ice or anything I took a moment to look at my red throbbing hand (which had not yet let the ball go from the exact position I caught it in), and looked back and said, “I wanna feel this as long as it will last.”

I took a few more sips of what was a pretty watery drink at that point, looked up and saw Ortiz crushing a walk-off home run. I dodn’t know where it landed, but he and Gonzo provided all the offense we needed last night in the form of 3 blasts… two over the monster. Anyone who thought Ortiz would be on pace for 25 and 90 after the first 50 games… is either lying, or a blogger, or both. Even Bay’s gonna hit 30 and 100 and Youk FINALLY will, too.

Last night was the kind of night you remember so vividly that you even know the stats from the jumbo tron because to forget just one detail from the experience tarnishes the gem.

On our way out of the park a guy came over and put his arm around me, “I’ve been coming to games for 51 years, kid, I just caught my first ball last year… so you’re about 25 years ahead of schedule… That was the best catch I’ve ever seen.” I never saw him again, but I’ll remember him forever.

It was the coolest baseball moment of my life, and I am thrilled to be able to share it with the Ballpark.

Happy Baseballing,

StartMattCassel

Even When Everything Goes All Kablooey, The Sox Keep Finding Ways To Win.

That was wacky.

In twenty some years of watching the Sox, I have become accustomed to things going wrong. So when a nasty Jon Lester slider made Alexi Ramirez swing an miss with two out in the seventh last night, it didn’t surprise me when the pitch hit the corner of the plate (literally hit it, not hit it as in passed over it for a strike), and got away from Jason Varitek (who is still very good at blocking pitches in the dirt) allowing the tying run to score. It hurt, sent me back into the bottle, and cause me to hate life for a short time, but it didn’t surprise me. Neither did the line drive that Mike Lowell would have caught pre hip surgery, or the failed attempt at a Willy Mays style catch by Hideki Okajima (hilarious) in the eighth.

What did surprise me, mostly due to the way the breaks have gone for the Sox over the past three months, was that they bore down, got out of it and came back to win the game. Bay had another homer, which was huge, and Victor Martinez, as a pinch hitter, had two more key hits to prove that he was an amazing pick up by Theo. On the other side, Oki got a yough out to end the seventh and Delcarmen was nasty in getting his one out for the win. What was really nice to see was that Papelbon, in complete FU mode for the arrival of Billy Wagner (not related to Honus or his baseball card) throwing nothing but straight heat to get the save.

It’s wins like these that make a six game deficit with thirty seven to go seem much smaller than it looked a few weeks ago when games like this became losses and everything sucked in this world. Anyone ready for a 2004esque  September? (From August 16 on they were 31-11. I could deal with that)

Cool.

Oh, and then there’s the kid. Jacoby Ellsbury, who has been getting better as the season continues, completed his epic journey last night by becoming the most prolific base thief in the long history of the Boston Red Sox. The best part? He’s young, fast and has a month left in the season. Sweet.

Tonight, as the Senate says goodbye to it’s elder statesman (We’ll miss you Ted, you were a great American and made your brothers proud), the Sox get to say hello to their own. Wakefield takes the mound, throwing to Victor Martinez (this should be interesting), for the first time in almost two months. It will be a sight for sore eyes, ones which are mostly sore due to me trying to poke them out while watching Brad Penny make every attempt to flush our season down the toilet. Also on hand will be Billy Wagner, who will either be a missing piece that makes the bullpen complete, or the 2009 version of Eric Gagne, without the French Canadienness or the douchey glasses.

Should be fun.

Go Sox.

The Red Sox Have Clutchitude Coming Out of Their Ears.

Can't Exactly post from here. Sorry.

So for the past say, six weeks, SMC and I have been traveling non stop. What this often leads to is late, or no updates for all of you who visit the ballpark each day, and yesterday was one of those days. Sure, the fact that the Beckett has laid his second straight egg on sunday night (when I was in enemy territory no less), and the Sox had dropped to 7-1/2 back of the Yanks, didn’t exactly make me jump out of bed and want to scream to the masses, but it was mostly the endless travel that left us out in the cold.

Please Get This Man More At Bats.

Imagine my relief then, when the Sox continued their hot streak with two outs last night, and even picked up a half a game on both the Yanks and Rangers. In the past three games, the Sox have scored 30 runs. This is good in any stretch, but the fact that most (28) of those runs have come with the opposing pitcher only needing to throw one good pitch to return to his nice cozy seat in the dugout, is what gives the Sox hope for the rest of the season. A three run bomb by Mike Lowell, 3-4 nights by both (not just Pedroia, but Gonzo too) of our middle infielders and four runs scored in ways that nobody predicted (Rundown, Error, Walk, Wild Pitch), plus some great pitching by the ‘pen all helped to bail out Buck, who looked more like the guy who couldn’t hold his shit together in Baltimore than the one who shut down the Jays.

In Little League You'd Run A Lap For That.

Of course, I really can’t go through this whole day without making special mention of our old friend Jose Contreras. The man who led Larry Lucchino to dub the Pinstriped Assholes the Evil Empire by signing with them in the winter of ’03 as opposed to the Sox finally did us a favor last night (although some could argue that he did us one by wasting their money instead of ours six years ago). By forgetting one of the first rules of fielding taught to all of us in little league (not that they have little league in Cuba) , and trying to pick up a slow rolling grounder with his glove, Contreras allowed six unearned runs to score and turned a 4-1 deficit into a 7-4 Red Sox lead. Thanks, Jose, and keep up the good work.

One more thing to look out for before the Sox take the field to face the Rock (Freddy Garcia) and his 10+ERA tonight. The Sox are apparently bringing Billy “Im a douche, just ask the Phillies” Wagner to Boston to shore up the back end of the bullpen (by that i mean the eighth inning, not the ninth, where he wants to be) and help carry us into the playoffs. The Sox won’t pick up his option, but can offer him arbitration, netting us two more draft picks and making the half season rental more worth it. Lets’ just hope he doesn’t turn into another Gagne situation. Or that it does and we win a Ring anyways, like we did with Gagne.

Go Sox.

Done.

Why? Why? Why Would You Throw That Pitch?

This was not a good pitch to throw

For those who didn’t know, those were the words that AJ Burnett said to himself (you could read his lips on TV) as he watched the once again frightening David Ortiz’s 20th home run of the year (raise your hand if on May first you thought he’d get to 20. Nobody? I thought so) sail out of Fenway yesterday afternoon. The homer was one of four hit by the Sox, as the Steinbrenner clan watched some ungodly amount of their money flow down the toilet on a guy who they paid to beat the Sox on the strength of his previous record. Youkzilla had two, every member of the starting nine other than Ells and the Captain had a hit, and Gonzo continued to prove how much he loves being back in a Red Sox uniform (and a pennant race) by hitting a bomb of his own.

Youk pointed to the sky after each of his two homers in tribute to fallen former temmate Greg Montalbono, who lost his battle with cancer a few days ago.

What really struck me about the game (other than the fact that Junichi was awesome, mostly thanks to SMC’s reverse cheer) was the amount of Cluthitude® on display by the Sox. They scored 13 runs with two outs, getting hit after hit when the Yanks pitching staff only needed one break. Of course, if your catcher (that pear shaped bastard) kkeps calling for fastballs and disagreeing with his pitcher it makes the day alot easier for the Sox hitters. A dollar says that Molina catches Fatbathia tonight after the display of shitty pitch calling that Posada put on (Burnett thought he should have thrown more curveballs, but after Gonzo blasted a hanger over the monster I can understand why Jorge would have wanted to shy away from it). Junichi himself was pretty clutch, getting out of a few jams and making Douche-Rod look foolish on more than one pitch (did you see him basically back away and step out of the box before that curveball broke back over the plate for a strike?).

And so today we say good bye to Brad Penny for the forseeable future, because the Elder Statesman is on his way back and Junichi won that spot in the rotation. I personally hope that they create an interesting injury for him as opposed to sending him to the pen, because the only thing worse than a Brad Penny start at this point would be Brad Penny coming out of the bullpen in a tight spot.

Beckett takes the hill tonight against the guy who he dominated in the fifth game of the ALCS two years ago. Fatbathia won the Cy that year over Beckett, payback can be a bitch though.

Go Sox.

Done.