Monthly Archives: July 2009

Big Papi did Steroids, But it’s Cool. Seriously.

Not exactly roid rage.

Not exactly roid rage.

So out it came. Juicin. ’04, ’07, Manny, Papi. Without question, if they aren’t in Boston those years, we get no hardware.

It’s really important to begin with that statement so that people know I’m still sane… but honestly, Papi did steroids, and I’m cool with it. We all knew it already, kinda, when it took him a zillion plus games to hit his first dinger this year, and even if that wasn’t a direct result of him stopping when ever he did, it was enough to introduce the suspicion and condemn him subconsciously… the irony of course being that we were all right.

But I’m not givin’ back squat. I’m keeping my World Series trophies and I’m still rooting for Big Papi. Sure, if he was a Yankee, or Manny, or a pre-existing a-hole (or Rod), then ya, I’d freakin’ hate him… but he isn’t. He’s a guy that has been universally loved by every member of the Nation and he and his wife Tiffany have been model community citizens. Big Papi is good for Boston and for baseball. Barry Bonds was a pre-existing a-hole and A-Rod is so despicable that the best thing we could say about him was “at least he isn’t Bonds.” (Now we can just hate them both regardless… which is nice.)

It's Cool.

I’m cool with Papi because his equation still checks out. Whether or not you are one of the greats is a formula. Clemens was an a-hole (negative), but he was a dominating pitcher who mastered the mound (double positive). Clemens’ equation before steroids checked out because even though he was an a-hole, he was also The Rocket. Introduce steroids and he’s just some a-hole on drugs, his equation got thrown all out of wack.

Papi is a model citizen, involved with philanthropy and community, has a local business and a charming smile, helped bring 2 World Series trophies to Boston, blasted countless bombs on to Landsdowne Street and beyond, put smiles on the faces of MILLIONS of people and… ya, he juiced some. In an era when almost everyone was doin’ it (please not you, Griffey… please), pitchers and hitters alike, Papi Juiced. And when I look at everything he’s meant to the Sox, I’m square with it.

So go screw, Yankees fans; when you do it it’s cheating, when we do it, it’s just tryin’ harder. And ya, I actually feel that way.

StartMattCassel

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The Red Sox Need A Moment Of Zen.

The Beard, LaFrenchy, Bay, The Captain: 0-15. Nothing Good To Say.

You’re a cocksucker.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Who The Hell is Oakland and Why Do They Deserve A Baseball Team?

Eff Oakland. Eff Alameda County. Eff  The Colors Green and Gold. Eff the Letter A.

This is now last night's game made me feel.

This is now last night's game made me feel.

What started out as a great night at the old ballyard in the Fens turned out to be a four hour suckfest which drained all hope from my body. I blame it on Nomar. For the last two months he was here he took just about everything cool and made it suck with his angry face (no seriously, the guy kind of always looks angry, even when he’s smiling. I think it has something to do with the fact that his nose makes him look like the witch in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, just not green), and now he is doing the same with special events that his awful team just happens to be in town for.

You Are Welcome, Jim.

You Are Welcome, Jim.

Jim Rice Night was awesome. The number got unveiled on the right  field facade, Jims family and friends were on the field to salute him, along with many of the guys he played with. He was relaxed, eloquent and happy in his speech, more so than at Cooperstown on Sunday. The Sox banged out 5 runs in the third to give their young starter (some guy who’s going to end up as a Blue Jay) a lead that they should never have relinquished. Everybody was hitting, Ellsbury was stealing bases, it was a good night.

Yeah, that sucked, we know.

Yeah, that sucked, we know.

And then a shaky Papelbon (if you didn’t see this coming eventually, you are crazy, he’s been rocky for a few weeks now), two errors from Nick Green (a career backup who hasn’t played like it for the past two months) and a breakdown in the rest of the pen doomed me to an extra hour of sitting on the couch, sweating like Rich Garces at a rib eating contest, and cringing with every pitch. I just knew that this one wouldn’t be pretty from Paps, and he’s allowed a shitty night every now and then, but this wasn’t just another night, it was a chance to take a game back from the Pinstriped Assholes (who lost to the Rays).

I really don’t know who to blame for this one. The bullpen, the defense (O.K. only Nick Green, because Pedroia and Lowell both made sick plays in the 11th), Pedroia for not being able to get the two out hit in the 11th to score Kottaras from third, or the entire city of Oakland.

I choose Oakland. I can’t see a reason for their city to have a baseball team, football team or modern plumbing. Aren’t all of those things available just across the Bay in San Fransisco? Either way we’ve got two more nights of shitkicking to put on these guys heads before spending the weekend at Fenway South (possibly with some Canadian guy pitching for us, or not).

Go Sox.

Done.

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Brett Favre to Stay Retired.

“Brett Favre always played with a little kid in him.” -Herm Edwards

Done.

Done.

Wait a minute…

Now it all makes sense.

Now it all makes sense.

StartMattCassel

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Josh Beckett Defends His House and Adam LaRoche is Enjoying His Stay.

Nasty.

Nasty.

In his last five starts at home, Josh Beckett is 5-0 with an ERA of 1.19. Overall he is 7-0 on the mound at Fenway Park. Maybe that’s why his offense loves to come out and play for him, or maybe it’s the fact that no slump can last forever and this is a $100 million lineup.

Either way, the Sox came out ahead last night with an 8-3 win that was sorely needed. Beckett had ten Ks in seven innings, giving up three runs and also bringing his record after a Red Sox loss to 7-1, and the one loss was a 4-2 complete game in which he got absolutely no backup from his hitters. He is leading the AL with 12 wins and a 3.44 ERA. If that doesn’t smell like a Cy Young candidate you need to pull your face away from the mirror and put down the rolled up dollar bill.

In case you forgot, we're really good. Oh, and F#$% A-Rod.

In case you forgot, we're really good. Oh, and F#$% A-Rod.

As for the other side of the ball, if Adam LaRoche (not French) hasn’t proved to you yet that he is an Ideal lefty hitter for Fenway, mcuh like Wade Boggs, then you are watching the wrong game. Since being freed from the baseball abyss known as Pittsburgh, LaRoche is 5-12 with a home run and three RBI. Last night he used his inside out swing and left center power to pace the Sox with two doubles in his first two at bats, both hits glancing off the wall, much like the way that Boggs got himself to 300 hits (this is not to say that LaRoche is a Hall of Fame Caliber hitter, just that he is perfect for Fenway).

adrian-gonzalezThose doubles, along with hits from the slumping J.D. Drew and Jason Bay, a first inning bomb from Pedroia and three hits from Ellsbury at the top of the lineup, are possibly signs of the bats breaking out of their slump. Everybody out there who is freaking out that we need to trade for Victor Martinez, Adrian Gonzalez (who makes me all hot and bothered because he would be awesome, but not for everyone in the farm system), or Hank Aaron, please just remember the track record that our guys have, and that there is still a lot of baseball to be played. A 2-1/2 game deficit in July is nothing to get worried about. So chill.

We’ll be fine. Unless something isn’t done about Smoltz.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Jim Rice: This Time It Was the Destination.

Rickey and Jim had a blast yesterday.

Rickey and Jim had a blast yesterday.

I’ve always heard that it’s not the destination that matters, but the journey. I figured out a few years ago that this wasn’t in reference to my daily commute, but to those achievements and events that really make differences in people’s lives. The journey is what shapes how we look at whatever goal was ahead of us in the future, and how we look back at those in the past. Most of the time this is right.

But yesterday we all got to witness a time when it was the destination, and not the journey that made all the difference. Jim Rice is a Hall of Famer. It took fifteen years of balloting, the most that was possible, but it doesn’t matter whether he got in on the 15th try or the first (like Rickey Henderson, who went in with him), just that he is in.

Jim Rice is also the only man cool enough to wear sunglasses indoors, on TV.

Jim Rice is also the only man cool enough to wear sunglasses indoors, on TV.

For the last twenty years, Jim Rice has been a statue. He couldn’t do anything to improve the numbers which include three seasons of 35 HR, 100 RBI and 200 Hits (the only player in Major League History to do that). In his MVP season of 1978, he lead the league in HR, RBI and triples. As impressive as those stats are, they haven’t changed one bit over the past fifteen ballotings for the Hall of Fame, or the five years before that. The journey, and how long it took, don’t really matter anymore.

Yesterday, Jim Rice entered the Hall of Fame. It took way too long, and the journey got harder year after year. But as we watched Jim Ed speak on that podium at Cooperstown, the years melted away and we could see the man who walked away twenty summers ago after having dominated the American League for a decade. We saw the smile that I grew up loving, and pitchers learned to fear, and we saw one of our own enter the final stop on his journey, one in which he will be enshrined forever. And where he ended up is what really matters.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Now That the Yankees Lost to the A’s, Let’s See What the New Guy’s Got.

Judging from the camo shirt under his Jersey, this guy will fit in to the clubhouse just fine.

Judging from the camo shirt under his Jersey, this guy will fit in to the clubhouse just fine.

The Red Sox are going to win more than one game after the All Star break. Sure, it wasn’t impressive, other than the catch by Ellsbury and Pedroia’s diving stab in the fourth, but it was a win, and something to build on. Penny was good enough to stay, and we’ve got Lester going tonight.  Hopefully building on that will include scoring some runs for Lester tonight.

More importantly tonight we get our first look at the guy who replaced Kotsay on the roster. Adam Laroche will be playing first tonight and batting sixth (giving The Beard a well deserved day off), and as we’ve seen with last year’s July deal, guys love getting out of Pittburgh and into the real baseball of Fenway. Plus, this guy is notoriously nasty in the second half. So LaRoche (who, dispite his last name, is not French and loves his freedom fries, freedom dressing and freedom toast as much as any red blooded American) will get a greeting from the Fenway Faithful tonight and will hopefully show his pleasure by helping the Sox score some f#$%ing runs for once.

And the Yanks already lost to the A’s (that Nomar guy helped us out), so it’s already a good day.

Go Sox.

Done.

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