Tag Archives: Philadelphia Phillies

If This is the Best the NL Has To Offer, Sign Me Up For More Interleague.

Cool Logo for a Bad Idea

After this weekend’s dismantling of the two time NL champ Phillies behind the all-star duo of Scott Atchison and Daniel Nava (not to diminish what they did; Nava can hit and Atchison saved us in a tight spot), and on the cusp of three against the NL worst D-Backs, I’m actually liking the idea of interleague this year. It still let’s the Yanks feast on teams like the Astros (poor Brad Mills) while the Sox have to face the Phils and then the NL west, the best division in the NL, but if that’s all the champs have then it might not be all bad.

Of course, my rose colored glasses may be affected by the fact that tonight the party rolls on with Arizona in town. Proud owners of nine (seriously) road wins on the season, only one pitcher with more than three wins and a GM who is already in the process of dismantling the team, these guys are ripe for the picking. Then again we said that about KC, Baltimore and Cleveland and now we’re .500 against that group.

Along with Nava leading off (Bill Hall is at short with Scutaro getting the night off after dealing with a nerve issue in his arm), we’ve got Buck on the hill tonight against old asshole Ian Kennedy, who wasn’t good enough to make it in New York. Remember when he got sent down to the minors by the Yanks and never came back? Yeah, this should be fun for Youk, Beltre, Pedey and the boys.

And I hear there’s something that may be parade related happening at 9. Go Celtics.

Go Sox.

Done.

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They Should Make T-Shirts That Say “I Survived Bizzarro Weekend.”

First Daisuke freaking Matsuzaka comes within 5 outs of a No-Hitter against the “NL team with an AL lineup,” then Timmmmmmmay Wakefield, recently restored from the bullpen, dazzles that same lineup for eight innings, and then Lost ends. This was one clusterfuck of a weekend.

First of all, as much as SMC and the others I was with want to blame it on me, I have confirmed that more than one person who was watching the Red Sox game on Saturday night uttered the words “No-Hitter” before Juan Castro’s hit dropped with two outs in the eighth. So it wasn’t just me and that makes me feel slightly better. Otherwise the most important thing to take from the game is that we really have no effing clue how good or bad Daisuke Matsuzaka can be this season or beyond. He has been a shutdown ace twice this season and otherwise been a tremendous failure. The way that the defense, other than Scutaro, came together behind the Wiggler was also encouraging.

Hustler. In all senses of the word.

Of course, the Celtics game was also entertaining, as they went up 3-0 in an absolute destruction of everything that the Magic hold dear. I am both excited that Stan Van Gundy is going to be able to go back to his thriving Porn career, crying, and terrified that the Celtics are going to joint the Bruins as teams that have pulled a Yankee (and if you think I’m not happy to be able to use the term “pulling a Yankee” as something negative, you have not been reading very carefully). It was incredible and Rondo’s play on the floor has to go down as one of the ultimate hustle plays in postseason history. The Lakers should legit fear KG because they are holding his trophy.

Making them regret it.

The best part of the weekend, other than the Lost finale, which I loved and understood completely (this is where I imply that those who didn’t get it or are angry about it are either not smart or were just looking for things to complain about), was Tim Wakefield basically throwing a big middle finger at Theo, Tito and company for his move to the bullpen while his teammates made Roy Halladay (still can win 30 games in the NL) look like Charlie Zink. That makes four out of five games with the Sox starter going eight, which is what we expected to see all the time when the season started.

The Sox are three games above .500 for the first time all season, their hitters are hot (I think Youk might never get out again) and most of the pitching staff looks unhittable. Not a bat time to go visit the 32-12 (on pace to win 118 games) Trampa Bay Rays, who could stand to be taken down a notch. 7:10.

Go Sox.

Done.

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Lackey of Money for Jason Bay For a Good Reason.

Youk is stoked.

Dateline (4:03 PM): According to ESPN.com, this thing is official. The numbers aren’t clear yet, but it seems like Lackey is getting the same deal A.J. Burnett got last winter from the Pinstriped assholes (5 years/ $82.5 Million). Also, the Sox are trying to use the same numbers to extend Beckett (whose career numbers are almost identical to Lackey’s and is younger), and have made a $15.5 Million offer to Cuban fireballer Aroldis Chapman to offset the loss of their top draft pick  for signing another type A free agent.

The other big move is that the Blue Jays have finally traded Roy Halladay, and to the best possible place for the Sox, the Phillies. Cliff Lee will be moving on to Seattle and the Yankees are left holding their tiny dicks in their hands. It’s not clear what the Jays are getting in return but who gives a shit.

Who says you need to score runs to win? There is probably more good stuff to come (yo, Adrian), but for now let’s just remember that the Sox now have the best rotation in the AL, again.

P.S. SMC has just admitted to me that even though he thinks it’s a bit poppy (which is wrong), The Fixer makes him feel like spring baseball. Enjoy.

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Hey, At Least The Celtics Won.

This is all I have to say to that first Yankees fan who pops his head into my office today with the sole intention of making somebody who they have to spend every day around feel bad when they are in the minority and know that it will piss off the person who is effectively their boss:

bag-o-doucheAnd they are really bad f#$%ing losers ( I don’t know who this person is but I found the picture at this hilarious myspace page. Further proof that myspace is for white trash). Just look at last year, and 2007 and 2007 and 1966. I can’t wait for the first Yankees fan comment on this post to prove my point. A-Rod still has bitch tits and he still took steroids.

But hey, the Celtics are 6-0.

Go Sox.

101 Days.

Done.

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Where Have You Gone Pedro Martinez? A Nation Turns Its Lonely Eyes To You.

Just a couple a guys horsin' around.

I never thought I’d be so excited for another Pedro Martinez start. I remember when he cam to Boston in the winter of 1998. All of a sudden there were people from the Dominican Republic everywhere. Italian guys with George Hamilton tans were all of a sudden waiving Dominican flags and pretending to be just like Pedro. He made it cool to be a Sox fan again, gave us hope that even in the midst of the least hateable Yankees run possible (you couldn’t hate Torre, because he’s just a stand up guy, and Jeter was still a superstar who played the game right, worked hard and deserved everything that he got, unlike now. Yes, that is the least hateable Yankees team, except for when they suck), our long national nightmare, also known as 86 years o’ pain, was coming to an end.

Just a couple a guys horsin' around.

Pedro was appointment viewing in the days before TiVo made that obsolete. Every time he took the ball he could do something amazing. Would he pitch ten perfect innings and then lose because his team couldn’t score (that once happened to him), or would he give up three homers in five innings and go down in flames (also happened)? No matter whether he pitched well or poorly, Pedro was the freaking man. All you need to do is make a list of the things he did in his first few seasons here to remember how great he was: 17 K one hit in Yankee Stadium, Game 5 1999 ALDS, carrying around a celebrity (apparently he was huge in the DR) midget for the second half of the 2004 season, using more Soul Glo than Eriq LaSalle in Coming to America. Just to name a few.

Oh ya, he's a gamer, too.

And tonight, as he takes the mound against Andy Pettite in a match up which would have had every Fox executive walking around with a huge erection ten years ago, we fans of the Boston Red Sox turn to Pedro again.

This time we turn to him not to help us erase nearly a century worth of misery and pain, but to save us from a winter full of the same. The Yankees fans, never believers in not counting their chickens before they have hatched, are already coming out of the woodwork. A whole new generation of douchebag pink hat Yankees fans are all of a sudden telling us how they have suffered through the past nine years, and how the Yankees did it the right way. They keep walking into my office and saying, “How about those Yankees?”

GOOOOOOOOO 'DRO!

We need Pedro to keep us from a winter of these people having their delusions fed into by the media. Sure, Joe Buck is already planning the train the Yanks are going to run on him after the Series, and it was hard to understand McCarver (moreso than usual) as he tried to call the game with A-Rod’s steroid reduced balls in his mouth, but the rest of the media has so far been uncontaminated. And we all know that the worst is yet to come, with Rodriguez’ first ring will come the inevitable book (he may be illiterate, but if Johnny Damon can write a book so can he) and ESPN’s retrospective on A-Rod as the greatest player ever. Teixeira would grace the cover of a Wheaties box telling kids to eat healthy and work hard so that someday their wife can carry their balls in her purse. A.J. Burnett and C.C. Sabathia will open up their on line of soaps (made Fightclub style from fat liposuctioned out of Sabathia’s ass) and shaving creams (perfect for pieing the faces of guys who are less overpaid than you and actually contribute).

So please Pedro, let your Soul Glo, and give us one more night of baseball, and a better chance of not having to hide until pitchers and catchers report. Another playoff collapse for the Yanks would just be icing on the cake.

Go Sox.

102 Days.

Done.

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It’s a bright day… kinda

Chase Utley loves puppies.

Cliff Lee and Chase Utley did their best 2007 Josh Becket and David Ortiz impersonations last night and effectively sent the World Series back to New York for a game six. Although Utley is still considerably less Dominican, he has emerged as the bat not to throw at in the series. Unfortunately, the Yankees will probably adjust at home and kick the Phillies asses all over the field. The injustice in all of this is that I don’t want either team to win… and I may even want the Phillies to lose more than the Yankees… I mean… ya, cheese steaks are nice… but do they really deserve another Championship? That being said, the Yankees are evil and should have all of their toes removed by a Cambodian woman with bad teeth.

I’m just… feeling so conflicted today…

StartMattCassel

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The Scariest Thing I Can Think Of.

Yankees Win World Series

The Yankees Win. Thuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Yankees Win.

I f#$%ing hate John Sterling. Oddly, being naked under a pile of thirty guys is A-Rod’s greatest fantasy. Go Phillies.

Happy Halloween. Be safe tonight.

Go Sox.

106 Days.

Done.

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